Putting Your Life Back Together

Has the crap really hit the fan in your life? Have you lost someone you love because of a death in the family or because you married a cheating liar who took up with someone who may or may not be female? It really sucks doesn't it? Worse even than trying to put all the pieces together is trying to dodge all the well meaning advice from family, friends and co-workers. If you feel like you just want to crawl into a hole and hide, you are not alone. But after awhile, you are going to have to come out of that hole and face the crappy life in front of you. First, try to focus on the positives. I know, I know, you may not see any right now, but believe it or not, they are there. Try to concentrate on the parts of your life that you can do something about, and just leave the other stuff alone. You are going to get lots and lots of unsolicitated advice in the near future. Smile, nod, be polite. But don't let your love of a person cloud your judgement. If there is someone in your life that you have used for a sounding board in the past, a pastor, Priest, or mentor, run-don't walk to them for comfort. If there is someone that has been a huge force of negativity in your life, avoid them like the plague. That is not the person that you need to speak with right now. Above all else, consider the source. Everyone who is advising you has their own set of screens and filters that they see life through. If you have a dear friend who is in a miserable marriage that they feel trapped in, this is not the person to seek out for advice. Everything they tell you is going to be clouded by their yearning to be free themselves, and what they tell you will be shaded with that. If you must talk with someone, seek out a leader in your church, or even one of those anonymous phone help centers. But remember, your family loves you. So do your friends. But the things going on in their life are going to affect the things that they tell you. It's kind of like when you use the open door policy, but the manager you are talking with is being sued by an associate for not repaying a loan. I know, you are asking why a co-manager is even borrowing money from an associate, aren't you? Well, in Auburn, Indiana, that is a discussion for another day. The point is, realize that everyone clouds their advice, both solicited and volunteered, with their outlook on life. Try to listen to your own heart, and talk to someone who doesn't have a dog in the hunt, so to speak. You'll thank me later.