Thank God You Aren't Joe the Plumber

Have you ever seen such intense media scrutiny over something like Joe the Plumber? All he did was ask a question. Of course in doing that, he was able to do something that 2 million fawning members of the media couldn't do. He got B.O. to accidentally tell the truth. I don't want to spread my wealth around. I worked really hard to get what I have, and I don't think that I should be obligated to pass that around, thank you very much. I don't have a problem helping someone. I really do think you should help people whenever you can. But I also don't think that the government should do it in my place. I'll decide what to do with my money, and I'll do it a lot more cost effectively than even more government taxes and regulations, I'm sure. This reminds me of when Walmart has those meetings in the back office and they have a presentation from someone from Big Brothers,Big Sisters, or one of the other fine charities that Walmart contributes to. They put you in that small room with all the others and make you feel like a heel if you aren't interested in contributing to a handful of charities that someone else has hand picked. I made the mistake of asking where my money would go once, because I had read that part of the money from one particular organization went to Planned Parenthood, an organization that I would not donate to under any circumstance. I was berated, and told that once I gave money to them, they would decide what to do with it, and that I didn't need to really be concerned with that, they were all good causes. I did not give that year. Instead, My husband and I did what we always did every year. We found an organization that had an Angel Tree. We looked over the tree and found children whose ages matched the ages of our children. Then we took our kids out Christmas shopping, and explained that there were children that wouldn't be able to have a Christmas without our help. When my older son asked why Santa wasn't helping them, I told him that even Santa needs a little help now and then. We spent the day shopping for clothes for these children. We also bought them things that they didn't ask for, some toys that would hopefully make their day a little better. It made us feel good, but the best part was watching our children realize how much they had to be thankful for, and start to see the beginnings of generosity in them. It was wonderful. So think about what is going on, you only have 4 more days to decide who is going to do the thinking for you. If you like to think for yourself, you just might thank me later.

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

Have you ever wondered why some days are just good days? You wake up a little better, things just seem to go your way those days, you know? I wish that they came more often. If everyday was like that for me, I would be one of those annoying people you see on television that you just want to smack. I would probably want to smack me too, but that's just the sort of person I am. Ordinarily, I am not fond of perky people, as I have stated before. But I also have a distaste for those Eeyore, the sky is falling, and it always happens to me people, also. Somewhere there has to be a happy medium, don't you think? Wouldn't it be great if you could just tell how the day was going to shake out from the first five minutes? I mean, if you knew you had a great day waiting on you, wouldn't you just want to leap out of bed and get the thing started? On the other hand, if you knew it was going to be like the last Saturday before Christmas, when 3,000 people are going to come through your area in the world's happiest retailer, wouldn't you give some serious thought to calling off? Go ahead and admit it, we all feel the same way. Today, in spite of my so-so attitude, I had a conversation with a lovely lady named Beverly. Beverly has been with that retail source of wonder we all know and love for over eight years. Last week, Beverly was told that if she didn't open up her availability to eleven p.m. every single night she was going to be looking at "less than full time hours." That would be Walmart speak for lucky to get 30 hours. Beverly needs her job for the insurance that her husbands job does not offer. Walmart knows her situation, and what's more-they could not care less! They have a store to staff, and that is all they are worried about. Not if Beverly can find someone to stay with her daughters while her husband is at work, and not if it's safe for Beverly to be out that late. No, Walmart is worried about staffing and that is all. God love 'em. So again, I know that I've said this before, but think about the other price on the cheap stuff you get from Walmart, and see if you can really stomach the price. You'll thank me later.

Just Park Your Brain Outside and Come on In

Starting today, I am offering a huge service to anyone that wants it. The best part of this service that I am now offering is the cost. I will perform this service for you for the incredible bargain of--free! That's right, nothing , Nada, jack squat. What is this service that I will now perform, you ask? Why, I am agreeing to do all of your thinking and decision making for you. What a bargain this is for you. Holy smoke! Think of all the free time that you will now have to devote to any of your other interests because I have taken one of the most time consuming problems off your hands. I will tell you what you should drive, what you should eat, where you should go, and what you should do once you get there! And the best part,as I have said-is that I will do all of this for no money what so ever!! Does it sound crazy to you? I don't see why it should; the national media has made this offer and millions and millions of people have taken them up on it. It's kind of a relief when you think about it, they tell you what to think and presto! That's the new national dialogue! Kirstin told me about a code purple that she attended in her store. For anyone not indoctrinated in the Walmart culture, that's a staff meeting of sorts. Well, at this code purple-the store manager was advising people on who to vote for! Amazing. Thank God someone was there to think for these people-how else would they be able to function? I'm sure that this seems like a whole bunch of nothing to many people, but it isn't nothing. And here is why: the right to a secret ballot has been a fundamental cornerstone of the American political scene since guys in powdered wigs(No, not cross dressers in San Francisco) were dying for this country. The right you have to vote privately has been paid for by the death of so many patriotic men and women that the number can't be counted. If someone is so rude as to ask you who you are voting for-ask them why they want to know. If the person is still so ignorant that they keep asking, explain that one of our greatest freedoms is the secret ballot. You may have to explain the big words to them, but eventually they should understand-if you speak s-l-o-w-l-y enough for them. The important thing is to vote. Like my Dad always said, if you don't vote, you can't bitch.Don't worry about it, You'll thank me later.

Here, Kitty, Kitty....

Do you have a pet, a dog or cat or maybe something else? I have nephew who's girlfriend has a rat. Not what I would consider cuddly, but to each his own I guess. If you have a pet, more than likely you are an animal lover. Or a glutton for punishment, but that's a conversation for another time, isn't it?Odds are, if you have a pet(or two or three) you are feeding it and caring for it and taking it to the vet and all of the things that responsible people do. Good for you. Perhaps you even get upset when you see other animals that are mistreated. Again, good for you. I'm a sucker for sad eyes, and I think there should be a death penalty consideration for people who hurt animals on purpose. Don't get me started on Micheal Vick. I'd like to see him tethered and and taunted and made to fight some other helpless jackass like himself. But that's a rant for another time. I've had all sorts of pets over the years -dogs galore, cats,fish, lizards, snakes, even a cockatoo that loved chicken. It was cannibalistic, I know, but that bird went nuts when there was fried chicken in the house. And I suppose that technically fish are more of a decoration than a pet, but they learn to come for the food quick enough, don't they? So if you enjoy pets anything like I do, imagine my horror when I watched a support manager riding around on a motorized wheelchair shooting at the birds in the store. It was amazing. And he seemed to be having the time of his life, he seemed for all the world like a big game hunter on safari. One of the birds that he shot was only wounded, so he stepped on it to finish the job. I decided that I didn't need the sweats that I went in for and went home. When I called the home office, it was as if they were trying a jedi mind trick. I told them what I saw. Are you sure? I was asked. "Yes," I told them, "the bird didn't fall out of the sky and dive under his foot. Why don't you trap the birds and let them loose outside?" We do trap some of them in nets by the doorways, but that doesn't get all of them. I was told. "So why don't you try to live trap them instead of shooting them out of the air? "We'll look into that. But I think it's to protect the customers as well. Thank you for bringing this to our attention." I hung up the phone in distaste. The last time I saw customers in danger from a wren was in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. When I asked one of the associates about it, she said that most of them get trapped in the nets by the receiving area. When I asked when they got the birds out of the nets, she assured me that dead birds were removed promptly. Eeww. So I was not surprised to read online that Walmart had agreed to donate an undisclosed sum of money in response to beating some cats to death in a storage trailer. Mr. Sam must be so proud. I guess so long as it wasn't his dog Ol' Roy, it's okay. Think about how a person treats an animal around them. It's been proven that a lot of sadistic killers started their path by torturing animals. I'm not saying that the world's biggest retailer is staffed by sadists, but I am saying that you can judge a lot about a person-or company- by the way it treats the lesser animals and creatures around it. Think it over, you'll thank me later.

Hope Sucks

Have you ever heard the expression "hope springs eternal"? Every time that I do, it makes me cringe. You can take from this that I am not what you would call an optimistic person. In fact, I could be described as the polar opposite of hopeful. But every once in a while, something sneaks in and ruins everything. I may have received some good news recently. You'll notice the qualifier may because the jury is still out, so to speak. It goes back to what I said in the beginning, hope makes me cringe. If you aren't familiar with the emotion, it kind of feels like butterflies in your stomach combined with a yearning feeling. It sucks. Maybe that part comes from being disappointed too many times, it's hard to say. But if you are one of those sunny, silver lining in every cloud kind of people, do me a favor and stay away. I can't stand you. I don't do perky, and if I have have to see another performance of Up with People, I'll step off a tall building. I'm not kidding. But the counter balance of that is that sometimes, sometimes, hope isn't a mean bitch with a fourteen inch strap on-to paraphrase my favorite program, Dexter. Do you remember what it felt like when you first started for the happiest company in the world? Did you have a faint hope that this was going to be a good job, maybe even a great job? Had you taken a sip of the company koolaid? The first few days of the job can be wonderful. They sit you in a small room with a bunch of other people who are happy to have a job, and they tell you how great everything can be. They spell out the benefits(such as they are) and they tell you over and over that how far you go in the company is up to you! I'll bet they even trotted in a few managers who started out as lowly peons, just like you. The sky is the limit, with stock purchase options, paid vacations, paid sick leave, and a host of other opportunities. Don't you think? But slow down there, Skippy, and take a closer look. Once you've been there for a period time (three weeks, tops) you are going to notice two kinds of people. There are the people who do their jobs well and go home. Then there are the people who may or may not do their job well, but they sure can find the person in charge to suck up to, can't they? Marylin told me about a support manager she worked with. This support manager never failed to find a particular co manager when she was with her Mother. It seems the co manager was quite fond of this pair, even took in a couple of ball games that the support manager's son pitched in. I'm sure there was a way around that no fraternizing policy, I just know it. But the point is, this support manager was the number one pick from managment to be in their trainee program. Was it her great leadership? Was it her ability to take five to seven breaks every night? Or was it her relationship that she had with the comanager? What do you think? So if you are looking to buy into the whole Walmart is the coming retail messiah just keep sipping. If you stop, you won't care for what you see around you. Trust me, you'll thank me later.

One Latte' Please, Hold the Crazy

I had an interesting conversation with someone who had read an earlier blog of mine. He went into an anti- Walmart site and found a viper pit of paranoia. Not just a little crazy, but drive right past uncomfortable into full blown whack jobs. The one he told me about in detail was a submission praising this site (of course I liked them right away) and later I got a pleasant little shout out from that person. This person, however was telling me that someone over there claims that new identities are made so that they can keep talking about this site. Riiiiiight. (And how many of those prescriptions do you think are working for you?) Much like slowing down for a bloody accident, I have been guilty of perusing the Walmart hate site. On a rainy day there used to be nothing better than reading badly spelled rants about cameras following you. But what with having a life and everything now, as they say, the thrill is gone. It was a much more fun site when the guy had a cheesy little opening that said hell mart,instead. I think that was walmartsucks.com anyway. So now there is this site seemingly chock full of people with nothing to do except rant filth and try to out "spies" from management. I can tell all of them without hesitation that I do not work for Walmart. Not salaried. Not hourly. Nope. But keep fussing about it, and accusing me of it. I had 17 people hit my blog in five minutes today. Normally, I know, 17 people is kind of a whole bunch of nothing, but to think that there are 50 people who care what I write, and keep coming back to see what else I have to say is kind of cool. But enough of patting my own back. I've been watching the news with even more interest, lately. I see that polls can tell me anything, even who the projected winner of next month's election is. Thank goodness the media is still offering to do my thinking for me. But until someone can show me a valid birth certificate from Hawaii that doesn't belong to B.O.'s sister, I don't know if he is eligible to be president, is he? It's a shame the media isn't more interested in that instead of what Sarah Palin is wearing. I guess fair and unbiased is too much to ask. Maybe next time. I don't recall Geraldine Ferraro having cameras inserted in her... privacy, but maybe that's just asking too much from a group that's more interested in a teenage pregnancy than substantive issues. Try turning off the tv every once in a while, and thinking for yourself. You'll thank me later.

Second Chances

Do you believe in second chances? Many people don't and I can understand how they feel. My Dad used to be fond of saying "fool me once, shame on you;fool me twice, shame on me." There is a huge amount of logic there.If people go around expecting change from someone who clearly is not remorseful,honestly, what were you thinking? Sometimes you have to tell yourself that, sometimes many times in just one day.It stings. I know it does. But wouldn't it hurt worse to be made a fool of twice? The same thing can be applied to a company, can't it? If you've been working somewhere and the company that you work for suggests that you work off the clock, " for just a minute, it would really help us out" what would you do? On one hand, you want to help out, maybe you are new and want to make a good impression. Or maybe you've been there a while and want people to notice you for a promotion. Either way, don't do it. Here is what I have always said when approached about working off the clock. A manager says " can you help me out for a second?" I always reply, "sure--just give me a second to clock in" See how easy that is? If the manager tries to say something stupid like it will only take a second to help me, I answer with so will clocking in-I'll be right back. It has been suggested that time clocks be put by the front doors. I don't know how practical it would be, but it would cut down on people having to fill out a time adjustment slip, wouldn't it? And Lord knows, those personnel people work hard enough as it is, especially during those hiring freezes, no? So you have a lot of things to weigh before you consider rejoining the happiest company on earth. It can be a good job, I have had days that were over a lot sooner than I thought they would be. I've also had days that took three weeks. Remember the whole job before you go back, not just the good parts. You'll thank me later.

Mind Boggling Crap I Will Never Understand

I am absolutely boggled every day. I am not a naive person, but I seem to go around in a constant state of wonderment at the idiotic things that happen around me. Just when I think that I have seen the limit, the absolute top in the mountain of morons and stupid people, I come to realize that I am still looking at some one's basement. It takes my breath away at the people who go around in a complete denial about the things that are happening to them. Example one: any time I look a political poll I immediately consider who took the poll. Second, I look very carefully at what the actual poll is really about. Third, I look at the margin of error. Then I listen to the people who took the poll to determine their agenda. I can't even begin to tell you how many polls I have seen in the last 5 days and they all tell me the same thing. On one channel. On the other channels, poor Senator McCain is wasting his time. But my question is this: why would someone spend over 100 million dollars for a job that pays 250,000? And why have the labor unions spent another 300 million dollars to influence me when they say that they are just for the working man? Would the working man be more interested in getting his more than a quarter of a billion dollars back than in backing a socialist agenda from a man who may not even be eligible to hold the office of president? I feel like I am in a cashier meeting and an idiotic comanager is explaning to me that my hours are going to be cut to pay for the overtime of third shift because they weren't able to get their work done in time. Never mind that now I won't be able to get my work done in time, that's not important. I guess the important thing is getting the product on the shelves, not in having someone there to let the customer buy it. If you don't understand the logic there, don't feel bad. You don't understand the logic because there isn't any. Not one drop. But if you want to call corporate and get an explanation from them, the number is 1.800.walmart. Good luck. I wish I was just pulling things out of the air, but three different people have emailed and im me to tell me about the crap in their stores. It makes less sense to me everyday. What happened to the company that was proud of the help it had given to the associates? What happened to the company that was one of the most admired in the corporate world? Was all of that because of Sam Walton? As he gets colder and colder, has the company drifted that far away from his ideals? Don't expect an answer any time soon, and for goodness sake, don't bring that up at a store meeting. You'll thank me later.

Stay at Home Moms and Dads

If you are one of those fortunate few who get to stay home with your children because your spouse makes enough money to support your whole family, I envy you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that you get up every day and thank God in heaven that you are able to be there for your children every time they need you. You get to make their breakfast, send them off to school, make their lunches, pick them up after school, help them with their homework,volunteer for their school projects, and generally fulfil every need that they have without being pulled into 30 directions at once. If you work for Walmart, however, try to fit the desire to be there for your child around these hours: 6a.m. to 3p.m. or 2 p.m. to 11p.m. (I personally think of that as the shift from hell) or 10p.m. to 7a.m. Can one of you tell me which one of these shifts makes it possible to be involved in your child's life, and still bring home a paycheck? And if you are able to live off Walmart wages and support a family while your spouse stays home, quit reading this and write a book about it. Clearly you are a financial wizard/genius and should devote your talents to making the rest of the world a better place. I hope you share your gift with the rest of the world. Earlier, I had a conversation with an older gentleman, who thought that a mother working was because she wanted things that the husband could not provide with just one salary, and that was going to be the down fall of this society. I would suggest that this gentleman hasn't seen the price of a gallon of milk lately. Perhaps he doesn't realize that many many families don't like having two incomes they need it to pay bills. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. One of the complaints that Walmart gets is that it needs to pay a living wage. I would agree with that. After a time, you can make decent money with this particular company, but I don't know any family willing to live in a cardboard box until you've put in enough time to make that living wage. And now that there are salary caps on what you make for Walmart, you better start hoping that they have inflation caps, also. Or you are going to be in for a nasty shock at what you can no longer afford. You can always check the want ads for that part time job,I guess. So don't throw the paper way until you check out the classifieds. You'll thank me later.

Putting Your Life Back Together

Has the crap really hit the fan in your life? Have you lost someone you love because of a death in the family or because you married a cheating liar who took up with someone who may or may not be female? It really sucks doesn't it? Worse even than trying to put all the pieces together is trying to dodge all the well meaning advice from family, friends and co-workers. If you feel like you just want to crawl into a hole and hide, you are not alone. But after awhile, you are going to have to come out of that hole and face the crappy life in front of you. First, try to focus on the positives. I know, I know, you may not see any right now, but believe it or not, they are there. Try to concentrate on the parts of your life that you can do something about, and just leave the other stuff alone. You are going to get lots and lots of unsolicitated advice in the near future. Smile, nod, be polite. But don't let your love of a person cloud your judgement. If there is someone in your life that you have used for a sounding board in the past, a pastor, Priest, or mentor, run-don't walk to them for comfort. If there is someone that has been a huge force of negativity in your life, avoid them like the plague. That is not the person that you need to speak with right now. Above all else, consider the source. Everyone who is advising you has their own set of screens and filters that they see life through. If you have a dear friend who is in a miserable marriage that they feel trapped in, this is not the person to seek out for advice. Everything they tell you is going to be clouded by their yearning to be free themselves, and what they tell you will be shaded with that. If you must talk with someone, seek out a leader in your church, or even one of those anonymous phone help centers. But remember, your family loves you. So do your friends. But the things going on in their life are going to affect the things that they tell you. It's kind of like when you use the open door policy, but the manager you are talking with is being sued by an associate for not repaying a loan. I know, you are asking why a co-manager is even borrowing money from an associate, aren't you? Well, in Auburn, Indiana, that is a discussion for another day. The point is, realize that everyone clouds their advice, both solicited and volunteered, with their outlook on life. Try to listen to your own heart, and talk to someone who doesn't have a dog in the hunt, so to speak. You'll thank me later.

I'm Going to Have to Quit Watching the News

Watching the news today, I learned that the majority of the mortgage crisis has been caused by people buying more house than they can afford. All their fault, you might say, and I would have to agree. But what about the other people, the people who have a crooked mortgage holder? What about the people who genuinely want to keep their home, but because of dishonest practices, they are having an uphill fight of it? Those are the people I would like to see represented. But apparently, the major media outlets are too busy looking for skeletons in Joe the Plumber's closet. No offense to Joe, I'm sure that if I sat down with him we would have a delightful conversation. He seems genuine to me, it was Obama's mistake for trying to look off the cuff when he is clearly not suited to it. You throw a free concert in Europe and have him speak his prepared comments beforehand and he almost looks competent. However, if you throw him into a crowd that hasn't been vetted and you will find him making a huge political mistake. He accidentally told the truth. I don't understand why I am supposed to work so hard to get somewhere in my life and make good decisions, and make hard choices, even sacrifices, so that someone else can have a share of my hard work. It was socialism in ninth grade civics, and it's still socialism today. As Ferris Buehller once said, "I don't care for any ism." I have no problem helping someone, but I have a huge problem with making me give part of my earnings to "help the people who are coming up behind me." Which, believe it or not, does circle us back to the happiest place in retail. Tony, another favorite of mine sent me a long frustrated email because he was told for the third time last night to hurry up and finish his area so that he could go and help someone else with their area. Normally, Tony has no problem pitching in when it's needed, but he watched the person he was supposed to help. As soon as she heard she was getting help, she slowed down! That in turn made Tony slow down, because in his logic, why should he bust his butt for the same money, and have to do two jobs that evening? I can't argue with him, what he said made perfect sense to me. So I suppose if you like the idea of working twice as hard to make sure everyone has a piece of your hard work, you know who to vote for. If not, then give it another thought and don't let the media do your thinking for you. You'll thank me later.

Walmart vs Your Children

Do you have children? A lot of people don't and there are times when I envy them. But my sons, all three of them, are truly the light of my life. I can think of things that any of the three have done over the years, and it always makes me smile. One year, my oldest son was given a puppy. It was a Great Dane puppy and they spent almost every waking moment together. I can still remember him walking in the yard surrounded by 3 or 4 Great Danes that just wanted to lick him and lick him. Every once in a while a stick would come swinging out of the top of this herd of giant dogs and he would yell stop. The dogs would part for a few seconds, but then gather right around him again. That was a fantastic day, and it makes me smile whenever I think of it. My second son is also a great memory maker. On his fourth Christmas he received a Pooh tent that he just adored. He was so glad to have it that he ran to the window and yelled, "Thanks Mr. Santa Claus!!" It made his father and me laugh then, and it still makes us smile now. And my youngest son is in a class by himself. He is on the small side, but still scrappy. He delights in aggravating his next oldest brother, and he does a very good job of it. When ever I am having to separate two tussling children, I am not surprised to find that it is usually my youngest boy having taken on his brother that is nine years older. No matter, though,my baby is one tough monkey. Now if you have children and you work for that happy retail giant that we all know and love, when you get to see your children is another matter. If you are stuck working a bunch of 2-11 shifts, then you see them in the morning before they go to school and you kiss their sleeping heads when you come in. But just remind yourself, this is a family company that you work for. I think that means you are working to make the Walton family richer, I'm not sure. Regardless, they- that is the company-is there for you. Unless of course, they decide that they aren't. One of the people who reads my blog pretty regularly told me about when she called off for the first time ever after having been with the company for almost four years. She got an Assistant Manager named Pam who yelled at her for having the nerve to call in ;even though she had been hurt at work. Compassion at it's corporate finest, isn't it? I also got an interesting email from Beth, who told me about a Brenda that she used to work with. Brenda is one of those biologically invested associates, in that she has several relatives working in the same store as she is. Can you say nepotism? It turns out that an assistant manager used to frequent her son's games, even though I'm positive Walmart has that little no fraternizing rule.I guess they found a loop hole. I love my boys more than life itself. I like Walmart, but not more than I love my boys. The problem is, I need the one to feed the other. Oh well, what are you going to do? Think about it before you sign up to work with them. You'll thank me later.

Such Great Times That We Live IN

Oh happy day! I've been following the election news very closely, if you don't you can't expect to know what is going on from day to day. One thing that I have noticed is that the mainstream media has decided that I am unable or unwilling, perhaps, to think for myself. Thoughtful folks that they are, they have stepped up and decided to do my thinking for me. Great isn't it? No more pesky decisions for me about who is the better man (and woman) for the job, MSNBC,CNN,CBS,ABC,and NBC have all decided that for me and they have all the (doctored) polls to prove it. It kind of reminds me of when I work a holiday for Walmart and then they cut my hours enough to make up the holiday pay they have to give me. Very thoughtful of them. That leaves me so much more time to do all the important things in my life, like working that other job to make up the difference in my cut hours. Life is so much smoother when you aren't in charge of it, don't you think? And the talking heads on the cable news programs? They are about as independent in their thinking as a Walmart store manager is. They get their talking points, and they all line up and say the same things. In the same order. Weird. I watched Geraldine Ferraro give the exact same list of reasons for Senator McCain not to bring up all the unethical crap about Obama in the exact same order as the talking head for Obama's campaign. In put me in mind of using the "open door" policy at Walmart and being told the exact same thing in the exact same order by the co-manager, the manager, and the district manager. I'm sure the regional guy will tell me the same thing when he gets back to me. It's only been 19 weeks, I have faith in their sundown rule. So, pay attention to what you are told. Don't believe the polls that you see, as a professor I had in statistics once told me," I can get get a poll to say whatever you need it to say. It's all in who you ask." I saw a poll three days ago that gave Obama 75% of the vote. It wasn't until the end of the talking points that you saw it was 75% of people who were registered in the democratic party, anyway. Can you say misleading? So think about what you are told and who is telling it to you. Be it Walmart or some biased news person trying to control an election. You'll thank me later.

who is working for whom?

Do you have an attorney or a doctor that you see regularly? Do they do it for free, or are you paying them? If you are in fact the one who is paying the freight- so to speak-why is it that the attorney or the doctor has assumed the "boss" role in your relationship? I just received a chiding letter from someone who is in my employ. I read the letter twice to make sure that I hadn't misinterpreted what was being said. Nope.I was just fussed at by my employee! Holy crap, can you imagine doing that if you worked for,say, the world's largest retailer? Can you say d-day? How about instant termination for insubordination? That's what I thought, too. So now I walk the delicate balance between needing this employee to do the job for which I pay them and not screw it up. That is the big thing. Don't screw it up because you are incompetent, and don't screw it up because you dislike me now. I feel like I'm filling an end cap with one case of product. It can't be done and pretty soon a manager is going to come ask me why I can't make the impossible possible by crapping out more product that isn't here.What ever happened to common courtesy? Did it go out with a bang, or more likely,I'm afraid, did it go with some whimpering, quiet little death? It doesn't seem that difficult to say please and thank you. It doesn't seem that hard to ask for clarification if you don't understand what is being asked of you. "Excuse me" would go a long way in helping, as would the granddaddy of them all: a heartfelt "I'm sorry" when you've screwed it up. Forgive my venting, sometimes it's blog or explode. But think about your manners, seriously. When I'm interacting with someone, I try to always act as if my Mother were watching. Try it yourself. You'll thank me later.

real friends vs. work friends

Do you remember your best friend from the first grade? The one that you ran around holding hands and dressing Barbies with? The one that showed you how to do "doubles" in jacks and shared her lunch with you if you forgot yours? If you aren't, don't stress about it too much, it happens, doesn't it? One of you moves away, or you end up going to different colleges or for whatever reason, your life just takes a 90 or even 180 degree turn. Man, that sucks, doesn't it?
Especially when you've been friends with that person for longer than you've been an adult. It happens,though, like the blog says. It starts out with small things, until one day when you are on the phone with this person, you realize that you have nothing in common anymore except a bunch of memories of some really funny things that seem to have happened to two completely different people. Did I mention that this sucks? Now if you're the cut and run sort, you just kind of go with the flow and whammo, you find a new best friend. No harm, no foul. But if you are the sort of person who has had less than a handful of really close, really wonderful friendships, you grieve. You grieve the same that you would if you had lost a family member, because in many ways, you have. Before you think that I have circled hopelessly away from the happiest and yet the biggest corporation in these United States, have no fear. "When you stop working for this particular company voluntarily, there is such a wave of relief." Pedro emailed me this afternoon. "You have all these new plans and the crap you have been putting up with is finally behind you. But then, so many of the friendships that you thought you had you realize were only work friendships. And as soon as you start trying to have a conversation with your old friends about anything else, you find it keeps circling back to the old store. Sad." Of course, it makes it even more awkward when your former boss tells you (only half kidding) that the store security cameras are watching you and not to tie up the time of people who are still working for the company. Makes you remember why you left, doesn't it? So before you start doing something foolish, like thinking about coming back, make a list, right now of all the things you hated about working for Walmart. Keep in in an envelope marked "do not open unless seriously considering going back to Walmart" and keep it handy. You'll thank me later.

crazy relatives, anyone?

I was speaking to a member of my family the other day. I won't be more specific than that, Christmas gatherings are close and I don't want to spend the day arguing, but suffice it to say that this relative and I are on the polar opposites of the political spectrum. This relative was actually telling me that Sarah Palin has five children and that should be her priority, not running for political office. This relative then when on to tell me that John McCain was a horrible man and that nothing he said could be trusted. I suppose he built that particular character trait while being held and tortured in a North Vietnamese prisoner camp, who knows. As for Mrs. Palin, I find it strange that the National Organization of Women love every woman on the planet, even the ones who have murdered someone, but they hate Sarah Palin with a passion that borders on maniacal. Odd, isn't it? Didn't they just spend years spoon feeding me the notion that Hillary was just as qualified as Bill and that I'd be getting two presidents for the price of one? How can they support the intrusion of a first lady who was elected to nothing, yet complain and snipe about a woman who not that long ago was simply a self described "hockey mom"and has risen to the potential of the highest office in the land? All this does tie in to the biggest corporation on earth, by the way. Not too lond ago, Cathy, in Illinois, related to me a conversation she had had at work. It was from her store manger who was urging her to consider her vote carefully in the upcoming elections. The wrong person in the white house and congress, she was told, would mean unfair regulation of the company, and more oversite into their dealings. This, she was explained, would mean that the company would have to spend more money on legal defense, and less on payroll. It doesn't take a genius to realize what they were saying. I knew that Wal-Mart could save me time and money with my shopping, I didn't realize they were also in the business of thinking for their employees, also. Information to have, I suppose. Are you financing a political agenda with that cheap can of paint you just bought? Think about where your money is being used after you give it to a Walton. You'll thank me later.

No liberal media here, thank you

I watch the election campaigns pretty closely. It doesn't hurt that at 3 am sometimes the best thing on is some talking head who is trying to break into a better time slot. But something I have noticed as a confirmed night owl is that the stuff they have to tell you but don't want you to know is going to debut at 3 am. I guarantee it. I am trying to figure out why the media (which goes to great lengths to assure me they have no bias,thank you)hasn't run with all of the questionable ties to Barrack Hussein Obama. Not to mention, I'm still waiting to find out where the heck he was born. When he tried to pass off his sister's birth certificate as his own, I thought, that's strange. The man who wants me to give him access to nuclear weapons can't even glance down at a piece of paper and notice the sex on the slip doesn't match his own. How odd.Was he born in this country, which is a constitutional requirement, I believe? Maybe that's why his wife is finally able to say that she is proud to be an American.I promise that if John McCain had tried to pass his sister's birth certificate off as his own, his mental capacities would be a topic of endless fascination. Not that MSNBC hasn't been killing itself to throw the election to Obama. Another thing that I don't understand is how a man can be a member of the same church for years and not notice the hate filled blather coming out of his minister's mouth. I notice when my priest has gotten a new hair cut, I would certainly notice him screaming anti-American rhetoric. Wouldn't you? I am also trying to understand this connection to Ayers. When you begin your entire political career in some one's living room, I believe that you may have special feelings for that person. You may even share some of the same ideas and opinions. I would go so far as to say that you may even agree with many of the same things, since after all, they are launching your political future for you. And last but not least, let's just consider this ACORN group for a moment. How many years was he a lawyer for them? How much money have they kicked into his campaign and what exactly are they expecting for their money in return? I know that if McCain was tied to the NRA like Obama is tied to this ACORN, every media person in the game would be knocking on his door for answers. It seems that for the third straight election, someone is going to try to scam the election. Ask yourself which political party has consistently tried some sort of last minute shanagans. You'll thank me later.

does anyone else hate fall?

I've noticed a pattern over the years. With the exception of college football, I really, really, really hate the autumn. I can't say why exactly, I just do. I hate going back to school, I hate the stupid leaves changing, I despise the cold weather coming. I am amazed at the people who will list it as their favorite season. I just don't get it. Nope. Having worked for Wal-Mart for almost ten years, I know that the fall is when the company kicks it into high gear.The backroom is burgeoning with all that crap, err, merchandise for Christmas, and there is a good chance that the Christmas blitz stuff is starting to take up too much room that they need for the regular crap that they have to put out. The one good thing about the fall is that there is a good chance that the hours that have been cut since January might be starting to come around. But don't bet on it. That part is going to depend on the greed factor of your manager and district manager. If they've gotten used to the bonuses for coming in under payroll, you may be screwed. Yesterday, a department manager emailed me complaining because his hours were cut and he didn't know how he was going to make his car payment. I was less than sympathetic, I guess, when I asked him how he thought the people in his department had been managing on 34-37 hours every week. For that he had no answer. I don't understand why they don't cut the hours across the board, say five percent from everyone, instead of five hours from the people doing the grunt work and 30 minutes from the people pushing paper. Or, have you ever met someone who is getting overtime and told to be quiet about it? Another favorite is the personnel department. Some of those people are getting forty plus hours every week and there is a hiring freeze on! Love the integrity there, don't you? So maybe I can get over the fall funk I get every year. It's a lot more likely than Wal-mart stumbling across some integrity.Go ahead, ask your personnel manager how many hours were cut last week, and from whom. You'll thank me later.

lying lies and the lying liars that lie them

I've said this before, but it bears repeating. I hate a liar. If you can only lie to me then just keep your dumb mouth shut. It serves no one any good purpose for a person to stand there and just repeat one falsehood after another. And a lie of omission? Just as bad. My Dad used to say, if you'll lie, you will cheat. If you'll cheat you will steal. If you'll steal you will kill. Not too hard to make the leap, is it? I've been having a conversation with a district manager for Walmart. At least, I've been having a conversation by proxy, as I've only managed to speak with his assistant. This seems to be a dedicated person, with a fair amount of intelligence. Unfortunately, she doesn't listen.And when she does listen, she doesn't comprehend. It is very frustrating, and a touch surreal to actually have had this conversation: "May I please speak with Mr. *****?" What is this regarding?" "Mr. **** said that if I ever had a problem with the company that I should speak to him about it." Are you certain that is what he said? "I wrote it down to be sure. I have a problem with the company and I need for him to help me." What is the nature of your problem? "Are you Mr. *****?" Icy tones follow:To be certain, I am not. But I need to know what the problem is before I can tell you if Mr.**** can help you. "He already told me that he can help me, I just need to talk to him about my problem now." Every day someone tries to talk to him about problems that he cannot do anything about. If I don't know what your problem is, than I can't tell you if he can help you or not." I have already had a conversation with him. He is aware of my problem. He knows what it is, and he knows what he can do to help me.All I need from you is to push the button and let me speak with him." I'm sorry, that is not possible. Good day. And then the call was disconnected. Crazy, huh? So I guess the thing to be gleened from this is that if you want to deal with honest, above board people, don't count on Walmart. You'll thank me later.