Just Park Your Brain Outside and Come on In

Starting today, I am offering a huge service to anyone that wants it. The best part of this service that I am now offering is the cost. I will perform this service for you for the incredible bargain of--free! That's right, nothing , Nada, jack squat. What is this service that I will now perform, you ask? Why, I am agreeing to do all of your thinking and decision making for you. What a bargain this is for you. Holy smoke! Think of all the free time that you will now have to devote to any of your other interests because I have taken one of the most time consuming problems off your hands. I will tell you what you should drive, what you should eat, where you should go, and what you should do once you get there! And the best part,as I have said-is that I will do all of this for no money what so ever!! Does it sound crazy to you? I don't see why it should; the national media has made this offer and millions and millions of people have taken them up on it. It's kind of a relief when you think about it, they tell you what to think and presto! That's the new national dialogue! Kirstin told me about a code purple that she attended in her store. For anyone not indoctrinated in the Walmart culture, that's a staff meeting of sorts. Well, at this code purple-the store manager was advising people on who to vote for! Amazing. Thank God someone was there to think for these people-how else would they be able to function? I'm sure that this seems like a whole bunch of nothing to many people, but it isn't nothing. And here is why: the right to a secret ballot has been a fundamental cornerstone of the American political scene since guys in powdered wigs(No, not cross dressers in San Francisco) were dying for this country. The right you have to vote privately has been paid for by the death of so many patriotic men and women that the number can't be counted. If someone is so rude as to ask you who you are voting for-ask them why they want to know. If the person is still so ignorant that they keep asking, explain that one of our greatest freedoms is the secret ballot. You may have to explain the big words to them, but eventually they should understand-if you speak s-l-o-w-l-y enough for them. The important thing is to vote. Like my Dad always said, if you don't vote, you can't bitch.Don't worry about it, You'll thank me later.