A Mystery to Me in Greeley, Colorado

Here is a story to ring out the old year with. I think it's perfect because it highlights the questions that I have about Walmart and how they operate. I have said before that I love talking with new people. I was introduced to Paul's story by the friend of a friend. Paul told me that he worked at store 5051 in Greeley, Colorado in October 2006. "I had been with the company for 4 years and had worked in the produce department, was the ICS lead-that means he organized the group of workers who put things on the shelves and set displays sometimes-and was a support manager one night a week." Paul said he also maintained the lot by pushing carts in when required. On one particular evening, Paul says that he needed 3 people to help him push the carts into the store. On a big day, or when you are working with lazy people, this happens more often than you realize. He told the CSM-that's a customer service manager-at 9 p.m. At 9:15 p.m. he told the csm to go to channel 2 and said "I got it covered." Then Paul said an assistant manager who was listening called Paul into the office afterward. He was asked what he meant by "I've got it covered" and was terminated on the spot for insubordination. He also said he was given a court hearing date for allegedly assaulting the assistant manager, and got a lifetime ban from all Walmarts. At his court date-no one showed up and the case was tossed out. Paul then told me that the assistant had been angry with him ever since an incident when he didn't let the assistant manager use all of the ICS team to build a display. All of this brings up so many questions. First of all, why was the assistant allowed to harbor this grudge? Second, what was wrong with taking a few people and clearing the lot? Was one person supposed to take an hour or 3 people take fifteen minutes? Third, what exactly did Paul do that was insubordination? Was it the cart pushing or the initiative? Fourth, why weren't the assistants, at least one of them, anyway, helping? Paul was also charged with assault, but the case was thrown out of court when no one from Walmart showed up to make their case. I've made five calls to Walmart in Bentonville, and so far no one has returned my calls with any answers to the allegations made here. I don't understand the logic of a company that seems determined to do away with the hard workers and keep the slugs on hand. Do you? If I find out, you can thank me later.

And for Something Completely Different

Whenever I write about more than Walmart, I get emails from people asking me why I have stopped talking about Walmart, or more fun, accusing me of giving in to the company with a heart. I enjoy discussing my political views, also, it just seems that Walmart and their shenanigans seems to take up most of my attention. I am conservative in my politics -you can thank Jimmy Carter for that. But there is a blog that I enjoy following for political ideas and discussion. The blog is entitled KeystonetotheHeartland and I think you can find it at this address http://keystonetotheheartland.blogspot.com/ and if you read it, I think that you will enjoy it. That is if you think the last election might have been hijacked and the mainstream media had something to do with it. I happen to lean that way in my thinking also. I also think that BO may be the answer to many late night comedians' dreams. He hasn't even let the ink dry on his fake birth certificate, and it seems that he is mired in controversy already. How much was he going to get for his share of the auction on his senate seat? Is Jesse's boy fussing because he couldn't raise the dough to bid competitively on the seat? Maybe if his father hadn't had those other family expenses pop up.......... But any way, I will enjoy watching the calamity that is democrats in office. I am thinking of starting an "excuse of the day" on my blog. It will state my favorite excuse in the last 24 hours for why some other malfeasance isn't BO's fault. It should be a lot of fun. But enough of my political ramblings. Like I said, you may want to check out http://keystonetotheheartland.blogspot.com/ and see what he has to say. You'll thank me later.

The Almost End of Another One

It would seem that we are staring at the end of another year. I hope that next year is wonderful for all of us. I can't say that 2008 is a year that I will miss, but I did get to start this blog this year, so who knows? Maybe things are looking up? 2007 and 2008 have given me quite a few challenges that I never thought I would have to face. I have experienced the death of a couple people, and good or bad, they are a loss. Ten years ago, if I had been able to see what lay ahead for me, I don't know if I would have smiled in anticipation, or run screaming for the covers. I hope, and that is one of the things that I am trying to give up for the next year. I don't mean to sound like a pessimistic dullard, I just want to learn not to anticipate things. I've said before-if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. I believe that with all my heart. I would have never imagined some of the changes that have come into my life in just 365 short days. The same can be said for that retail wonderment we all know and blog about. I have had over 1500 people read what I have written, and that flabbergasts me. I would have been happy to have 500 people give a rip about what I had to say,the idea that so many people are interested in what I think almost puts me into shock. It's a good thing I've never let my shyness overtake me, isn't it? But as for Walmart-I don't like the things that I see ahead. They seem determined to nickel and dime the associates into the poorhouse, while increasing every chance to take away hours from their schedules. I have written before of the similarities between Walmart and Kmart, and the similarities just keep piling up. Now that Walmart has effectively removed the job of so many department managers, and made them zone supervisors, or some such nonsense-what can be next? I am thinking that the days of the people greeter have got to be numbered. How in the world will Walmart be able to justify the expense of people who simply stand at the door and say hello to customers as they enter and exit? Never mind if they discourage theft, I imagine that the retirees and part time folks who staff the doors will be out of those very doors in the near future. And what about the personnel department? With assistant managers taking over many of those jobs-what will be left for the back office bunch to do? Associates are already responsible for keying in their own sick hours and vacation requests-in a hiring freeze, what's left to do? I suppose this entry has been rather pessimistic, but if things don't change at the retail wonder soon, it will be rather prophetic, don't you think? If it gives you a heads up on what is coming, you can thank me later.

The Grinch Lives( and Would Seem to Work for Walmart)

Have you ever heard of Barry Goldberg? Odds are if you have then you might be wondering what kind of idiots Walmart has working in their management team. It seems that Mr. Goldberg was overcome with the Spirit of Christmas and wanted to do something nice for his fellow man and woman. So Mr. Goldberg went to his local friendly neighborhood Walmart and bought 130 ten dollar gift cards. Yes, that would be one thousand, three hundred dollars worth of gift cards. Then Mr. Goldberg began handing them out to people as they entered the Walmart that he had just purchased them from. Did Walmart thank him for adding a few percentage points to their sales that day? Or did Walmart purchase some more gift cards and join Mr. Goldberg in a display of true charity? Or- did Walmart's managers throw Mr. Goldberg out of their store for impeding the flow of traffic? If you have ever had a conversation with the company that would rather buy good public relations than create good public relations, you know the answer to this question already. Yes, it is true. Once people realized that there was someone giving away free gift cards, they naturally began to swarm around him. Walmart, still stinging from criticism that they let one of their associates be crushed to death, reacted in one of the more stupid ways that I have ever seen. And believe me when I tell you, that is saying something. The up side to all of this idiocy from Sam Walton's company is that Target, a major competitor of Walmart's, purchased the gift cards from Mr. Goldberg and replaced them with Target gift cards. A win-win you might say. Target looks like PR geniuses for helping a guy who just wanted to do something nice for his fellow man, and Walmart looks like the Grinches that they seem to be. How difficult is it to let someone do something nice for someone else? What a bunch of weenies. So, the next time you are thinking of doing some random acts of kindness, remember where you might get kicked out of and skip them all together. You'll thank me later.

Merry Christmas!!!

I hope that everyone is as happy as I am today. I am surrounded by most of my children, and everything I hold near and dear is within an arm's length of me. I hope that you are surrounded by the people you love and care about, and that every thing you wish for is available. I also hope for peace and prosperity to fall upon everyone what the heck-we've earned it!! I hate when some one wishes me "Happy Holidays." I always reply with a Merry Christmas to them. It's almost as though they are afraid of offending someone by wishing them a Merry Christmas. If Christmas isn't your thing- just let me know- I'll be more than Happy to wish you a Merry whatever it is you celebrate! I don't understand some Walmarts that have even discouraged associates from wishing customers a Merry Christmas. Do they understand that having the associates wish every one Happy Holidays can be offensive to the diehards looking to be offended? Holiday is simply a shortened way of saying Holy Day or hadn't they noticed? I think the majority of the population is some form of Christian-whatever happened to the majority rules? Again-if you celebrate something else-just tell me what it is, I'll be happy to wish you a merry one of those. The thing that confuses me is when the ACLU has to get involved. What is that about? I'll tell you a little story about those wankers at the ACLU. A friend of mine was arrested for something she didn't do. The police in the town she was in made up the majority of the police report because her husband rolls odometers for them. When she was falsely arrested and spent a night in jail, she contacted the ACLU to see if they would help her. The representative for the ACLU said "the problem is, you are white and this happened in a predominantly white town. The cop that did it was white, there is nothing there to generate publicity for us. We only take cases that will generate the maximum amount of publicity for us so that we can generate the most fund raising from that. Sorry..." At least they should print that on their letterhead so you know it going in. "Caucasian need not apply for help" doesn't seem like a very catchy motto for them does it. Honest, yes, just not catchy. But I digress. Merry Christmas to every one that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ and Happy Holidays to whoever celebrates anything else. And thank you to the people who come in and read this every day. God bless you all. Now go spend the day with your loved ones, you'll thank me later!

Cut Hours=No Holiday Pay

I have touched on today's blog subject before. It is the practice of many Walmart stores to cut an associates hours to negate the Holiday pay that they are required to pay by law. It seems a little niggardly, doesn't it? And before anyone starts having a politically correct cow about the word niggardly please look it up. It means to be cheap or selfish. It wasn't that long ago that the politically correct crowd had a conniption fit when a politician used the word. I guess because it sounds like a bad word? If that is the case, then how can any one use the word brunt? But I digress. I have heard from many many associates who have told me that when a Holiday rolls around, their hours are cut to accommodate the Holiday pay that they are going to receive. I think that this practice is reprehensible and should be against the law. Instead of having some dumb Congressional hearings to find out if Sammy Sosa was taking steroids (you think?) could our hired legislators look into the practise of cutting a worker's hours so that their Holiday pay is balanced by the hours that they didn't get to work? It seems a little crooked to me, but I'm not a politician, so I don't see crooked on a daily basis. I don't understand how something like this is not illegal. I can only imagine how much it has to suck for the people who are faced with this problem every time a holiday rolls around. What part of this practice is respect for the individual?? Of course, if I were a store manager and looking for ways to pad my own bonus- I guess this would be a pretty slick trick, wouldn't it? But then, if I were a store manager there is a good chance that I would still be trying to pull that "I only get the bonus you get" crap. Riiiight. My share, your share, and half of his share is more like it. But anyway, before I go off on another tangent here,let me be perfectly clear with my opinion. Anyone who is having their hours cut to offset the Holiday pay that Walmart is required to pay you should run-not walk- to their nearest elected official and demand that something be done about this. If the newly elected bunch of do-nothings will not help, tell your newspapers about it. With enough media attention, even the useless government officials will have to do something. ( Just hope that there isn't another steroid scandal for them to be distracted by.) Good luck. And if you have a personal story to relate, just send me an comment, I read them all. Especially the tasteless blonde joke guy. God bless you sir. And if we can get some government attention on this deplorable theft of Holiday pay, you can thank me later.

A Conservative Party

Do you know what I would love to see in the year 2009? A truly conservative third party. I believe that the Republican party has drifted to the left until they are the Democrats of yesteryear. The Democrats have drifted so far over that they would seem to be more of a Socialist party. I would love, love, love to see an honest to goodness, Ronald Reagan right-thinking Conservative Party. I cannot be the only one who has turned away from the fiasco that is today's political scene. I cannot be the only one who thinks that we as a nation are headed down a steep road to hell. One of my favorite blogs that I enjoy is found at http://keystonetotheheartland/ and the person writing it has such an excellent grip on the world's political scene. I read it every day. And if you are right of center in your thinking, check it out, you'll be glad that you did. But before I was shamelessly plugging, I was writing about the start of a Conservative Party. The objectives would be simple-less government, more personal responsibility and less intrusion from those who think that they should think for us. I can manage my own life, thank you. I don't need Big brother to come in and cut my food for me. Which dovetails nicely with that hunk of retail wonder we call Walmart. I don't need Walmart to tell me what it is that I need from a government. When I read how much the Walton's contributed to various political organizations, I gagged. Granted, it is their money and they can spend it how they wish, but I can see the correlation between donations to a political party and political favors for a certain group of millionaires. It reminds me of the joke about an honest politician. For those of you living under a rock for the last twenty years- an honest politician is one who stays bought. But back to my dream party. There has to be more people than just me who would like to see politics take a sharp right turn back to a little place I like to call reality. The path we are on is going to be the one that bankrupts this great nation and makes us answer to other countries that only want to see us falter. Can you say United Nations? Anyway, start talking about a Conservative Party. See what your friends and family think, and before you know it, we can take our country back and put it on the Right path again. You'll thank me later.

Merry Christmas-You are Fired

When you take a seasonal job during the Christmas Holidays, you know at some point the job will be over. I think you make plans for that, and if you still need a job, then you keep looking for something else, right? But how are you supposed to plan when Walmart hires you for seasonal Holiday help, brags about being $100,000 higher in sales than they were last year, then calls all of the seasonal and part time help into the back offices and terminates them? It seems to be a lose lose situation. The people expecting to have a job are out of luck. The people who are left behind to work with a skeleton crew are out of luck. The real losers would seem to be the customers, who now have long, long lines and no customer service to look forward to if they are foolish enough to step into a Walmart store in the next few days. How do these people look at themselves in the morning? I understand making a profit, I am very fond of the capitalist system. But at what point does your conscience come in to play? I remember when Walmart hired seasonal help in October so that they could get them prepared for the Holiday rush that was coming. The seasonal people had a job until the first of the year, at the very least. Then they kept the best of the seasonal help by offering them a full time job after the Holidays. I guess the way that they do it now probably saves them millions in payroll. But how much does it cost them in integrity? It really seems like a crappy thing to do. Mr. Sam would be so proud. I guess it's one more example of Walmart's true colors showing. Ignore the warm fuzzy commercials that Walmart spends millions on and remember this when you think of Walmart. You'll thank me later.

it sure seems like theft.....

What would you call it if Walmart took $199.80 from you but you got nothing in return? Does theft sound right? Or maybe misappropriation of funds? Either way, I received an email from Jan in North Carolina, and by the time I was finished checking out her story, I was angry. Jan went into her local Walmart in North Carolina. She had a small child with her and she was in a hurry. The cashier that rang her up wanted to see some ID because thieves often bog themselves down with hungry newborns while they are checking out. Jan didn't have any ID with her, so the cashier, cancelled the transaction. No harm, no foul, right? Well it turns out that the Walmart went ahead and charged Jan's account almost two hundred dollars! I guess they didn't need any identification to steal her money, did they? And when Jan called Walmart asking for her money back, guess what happened? Why, Walmart wanted a faxed letter from Jan's bank and proof of the transaction! The word you are looking for is chutzpah. When Jan asked to speak to the manager- she was told that the manager was unavailable. Is this taking care of the customer, or satisfaction guaranteed? I can't tell. So finally, after a week(yes, seven days of free interest for Walmart) of constantly haranguing the store, they released the funds back to Jan. All of this because she didn't have the ID that the cashier wanted, but didn't need. How many times has Walmart done this and gotten away with it? How many people are still fighting to get their money back, and are being given the runaround by the biggest company in the United States? That would explain why profits are up, wouldn't it? The worst part is, Walmart could have made this right if they chose to. A simple, I am so sorry, here's a gift card for your trouble could have made this much much better for every one. Instead, there is a customer who hates the thought of ever going back to that Walmart, and who can blame her? Would you shop in a store knowing that there is a chance- a very good chance- that you could have two hundred dollars stolen from you by an incompetent cashier and a greedy corporation? It reminds me of a line from Dan Rather.... if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck... this sure seems like Walmart tried to steal two hundred dollars from Jan. If I get an answer from their corporate headquarters, I'll pass it on and you can thank me later.

One of the Greatest Men I Ever Knew

I would normally be writing about that retail haven that we all know and love, but a more personal blog is on order today. Please forgive my indulgence. The greatest man I have ever met did not come into my life until I was older. He made my Mother the happiest I have ever seen her, and he did it in ways that astounded me. I was never able to imagine my Mother and my Father as a couple. They were just so different by the time that I knew them both. But the love of my Mother's life was my step dad Jerry. He was truly amazing. He could make her laugh when others had run for cover, and he could stop her anger when other people were hiding in another room. He was kind, thoughtful and generous. His advice was always based on what was best for you, not on what he thought he would do. He was a very funny man, also. He was always ready to laugh, or joke when you spoke to him. He put his whole life into the people that he cared about. He took on responsibilities that others would have walked away from. He was just about as perfect a Father as you would pick out for yourself. One of my favorite memories of him involves watching him sit in my backyard. He was just sitting out there, relaxing and listening to the outdoors. He was absently scratching my dog, and smoking a cigarette. I wish that I could go back to that time every single day. I wish that I had written down every piece of advice that he ever gave me. I really do. So if your Dad is around, give him a call. Better yet, give him a hug and tell him that you love him. You'll thank me later.

What Does it Take to Get Your Hours?

I believe that full time is forty hours. Not 35. Not 36. Full time, or the hours required to pay your bills and still enjoy the luxury of say-food- is forty hours. All the tinkering with that in the world, isn't going to change it. If you work for Walmart, the concept of forty hours might be a little foreign to you. I say might because there are still those allotted few who get their hours. How is that possible? Who does Walmart need so badly that they must have them, but not others? Is it cashiers? You would think that Walmart always needs their cashiers so that they could check the customers out, and keep them happy. No. Is it the stockers who keep the product on the shelf so that the customers can buy it? Nope. But, take a peek in the back offices and you will see them stocked to the gills Monday through Friday eight a.m. to five p.m. Why, you ask? Well, personnel is needed to maintain schedules. (Never mind if those schedules are now generated from the home office, you must have personnel there.) Personnel is also needed to maintain the interviews for new hires.(Never mind if you are in a hiring freeze-there is always busy work to be done) In the UPC office, you are going to need at least four associates to work through the paper work that is generated. What exactly are they doing? They are maintaining current levels of many important numbers. Does that sound like gobbledy-gook? Go ask a member of management and see if you get a better answer. Regardless, when they are not maintaining important numbers, there are important phone calls that must be made and received, plus there is at least one code purple to be attended every day. (For the uninitiated- a code purple is when they have a store meeting for all associates who aren't busy with real work) This code purple is going to take at least a half an hour, plus there might be cake. Why doesn't Walmart switch this around some? Call Bentonville for that answer, because I don't have it. You may also ask them why they even have a personnel department if assistant managers do all the interviewing and paperwork on new hires. Don't expect an answer in the near future. I've placed several calls to Arkansas, I'm still waiting on answers. I'll pass on any that I get. And you can thank me later.

Do you Remember Overtime?

Do you remember overtime? If you do, there is a good chance that you have been with the company that cares for more than seven years. Back in the day, there was a wonderful manager at a Walmart. He had started off as an unloader himself, and he still remembered what it was like to need every hour on your paycheck. If there was overtime hours to be had, he let you take them. This rare breed of salaried manager could actually remember what it was like to walk in your shoes. This rare breed also put some of his bonus money back into the associates. Christmas parties were all day affairs at an off store location, and prizes were really prizes. They were not defects, and crap that was wheedled from vendors. But back to over time. Lisa sent me an email showing me what she used to make. Back when she was making 1.40 less than she is now, she was still taking home more money because she was getting overtime. Then her store had a change in management, and -poof!-the overtime dried up like a dead frog on the highway. Now Lisa works at a gas station part time. She hates working all the hours, but likes the security of knowing all her bills are paid. Plus she is able to put some money back for her retirement. She doesn't expect to be able to retire until she is seventy- but she does see that shining beacon in her future. Of course, it would be a little closer if Walmart could loosen their purse strings and shake out a little more overtime for more than the select few, but Lisa figures that worse come to worse -she can always be a people greeter. That's some dream, isn't it? If she is able to find any overtime, I'll let you know. She's not holding her breath, but she is hoping to only have to
work one job someday. If I hear from anyone who is getting overtime, I'll pass that on too, and you can thank me later.

The Best President we Ever Had

I am conservative by nature. I was young when the fiasco that was Jimmy Carter was in office, and was just starting to realize the world around me when the greatest president ever-Ronald Reagan took office. I was too young to vote, but having to endure the failures of the Carter presidency every day, I was beginning to pay attention to the political world. Ronald Reagan was amazing. He had a vision for this country, and a deeply ingrained pride that was irresistible. He made people proud to be Americans again. And the pride was contagious. He did not shirk and hide from the enemies of our country. He met them head on. He could manipulate the liberal circus that we call the media, and he did it so well that they often found themselves liking him, in spite of their indoctrination. One of my proudest memories of Ronald Reagan was when he handled the Libyan mess. He did not dabble in public debate. He did not drop sound bytes for the national media to hack over in endless debate. What he did was make up his mind and then he announced to the world when it was over. He sent the bombers to take care of the situation, and it worked. The only noise that the Lybian dictator made after that was the hollow saber rattling that he was best at. I have a relative that is fond of repeating really ugly things about Nancy Reagan. She read one of those hate mongering books by a writer who-realizing that she lacked talent-made up for it with salacious gossip. I don't care what Nancy Reagan did, or didn't do. But she was married to the most powerful man in the world, and she knew her place in the world. She wasn't trying to jealously elbow her way in and call it a joint presidency. She stayed in the background, knowing that the contributions she made to the presidency might not be recorded for posterity, but they were no less important. She supported Ronald Reagan. She gave him comfort, and a private ear to listen to when he needed it. Anyone who ever doubts this should read the book of love letters that Mr. Reagan wrote to her. It will take your breath away, the love and devotion that was shared by these two people. At any rate, I want to conclude this with my utmost envy. I am truly envious of anyone who can not only find their soul mate, but can stand by them, never wavering. I wish the world had more Ronald Reagans. I truly do.

Why Some Folks Get their Hours

When you work for a retail giant, do you expect fairness and honesty? Do you expect some level of integrity? Would you be more inclined to expect that when the retail behemoth in question drills that integrity crap into every meeting that you have with them? I am guessing yes. I am also guessing that if you work for Sam Walton's old company, you are giggling your head off right now at the thought of honesty and integrity in your workplace. The reason that I ask is because of a touchy subject in many stores called scheduled hours. Back in the day, before Mr. Sam was cold, full time meant 40 hours. Then one day every single associate was pulled into the back offices and it was explained that from that point on full time was going to be considered 34 hours. But this only applied to insurance and other benefits, the associates were assured. Walmart was actually doing them a favor it was explained. Some crazy fool had the temerity to ask "Does this mean our hours are going to be cut to 34?" Of course not, was the Walmart answer. We are only doing this to help you keep coverage for insurance and things. Fast forward a few years, and what is this I see? Why it looks like Walmart is cutting every hourly associate to 34-38 hours! Huh! That would seem to be exactly what they told the associates would not happen. Of course, when you look at the big picture, and take history into consideration, there was another retail giant that did something very similar to this, and I think they ended up filing for bankruptcy protection, didn't they? Of course, some people do manage to get their 40 hours a week. Sometimes they manage to get even more. The next time that you have to initial the hourly printout, peruse some of the names on your way to your own. You'll be amazed at the people who are not only getting their hours-they are getting a little overtime! That is crazy. If Walmart needs to cut hours-have they thought about cutting the same percentage from everyone? Ten percent would amount to four hours from the full time and 2.5 to 2.8 from the peak time help. Then everyone would be treated fairly, wouldn't they?Maybe Walmart should get a magic eight ball and try to figure out what is up ahead on this path that they are travelling. People need forty hours on their paycheck to cover all those silly little incidentals like food, and shelter. You shouldn't need a part time job to supplement your full time job. Unless of course you work for you know who. I'll save the want ads for you. You can thank me later.

Global Warming is a Bunch of Crap, and Other Thoughts

I have never been a fan of Al Gore's. I think he is a pontificating moron who babbles pseudo science to try to sound important. I think that anyone who has to listen to him speak for more than three minutes should be paid bore reparations. That being said, I think one of the biggest frauds being perpetuated on the American public is the myth of Global Warming. Any one older than 21 might remember the dark days of Jimmy Carter and his prolonged ineptitude. It was that genius who helped to make the Environmental Protection Agency what it is today. Never mind blaming Nixon for Watergate, his hand in starting the EPA should have been his high crimes and misdemeanors. It was said that in time the EPA would become the most powerful agency of the government, and look how things have come to pass. It's crazy. And if I have to hear one more chicken little tell me that the sky is melting, I am going to lose it. The beauty of Global Warming is that it is an all purpose bugaboo. If there are too many tornadoes- it's not because things like that are cyclical-no sirree- it's Global Warming. If there are too many hurricanes to suit-it must be Global Warming. And if there is too cold a temperature, or too hot a temperature-you guessed it Global Warming. If you get a chance, read an excellent book by Ronald Bailey. Global warming and other Eco-myths. Mr. Bailey does a wonderful job of explaining all the hooey involved in the myths of Global warming. It's brilliant and should be mandatory reading for anyone who wants to have a serious discussion about global warming. The only time I gave slack jawed Gore any credibility was when he spoke of urban sprawl. I do hate seeing housing projects spread from here to there in the otherwise pastoral country side. What Al forgot to mention in his Nobel Prize speech was that because of advancements in agricultural technology, we can grow more consumable food on less acreage. God bless high tech fertilizer. But I have noticed that some people truly have to have something to be afraid of, it seems to get them through their day, for some reason. One of my favorite excerpts from Mr. Bailey's book explains that the whole ice caps are melting hooey started when some genius went to the north pole, saw open water there and immediately went into liberal nut job panic over drive. If he had taken a breath and asked someone, they could have told him that the polar caps ebb and flow with parts of ice breaking off and moving all the time. Didn't he see the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as a child? They had people floating all over the place on pieces of iceberg, yet no moron was screaming global warming then! If you have to be afraid of something- make it be something real-two years of liberal control in Washington. Don't be afraid of made up Bogey men-unless you want me to tell you the story of the Golden Armed Ghoul-now that was a scary story that my brother Mitchel used to tell me. Relax, and let me know if you want that scary story of my brother's. You'll thank me later.

One Decent Thing

My Father used to say that every asshole is the best friend of someone. It was one of the things that I would just nod to, I had heard this expression many times from him. But he was right. In a surprising move-even to me- I am going to talk about one decent thing that some Walmart stores participate in. It's called an Angel Tree. What it is is a tree with many paper angels on it. On each of these paper angels is the age and sex of a child and some of the things that they would like to have for Christmas. Some of the things break your heart. When a child has to ask Santa for pajamas, it makes me sad. I always try to pick out an angel or two. Sometimes I have a child with me so that they can understand that there are children in the community who are less fortunate then they. Many of these children are only asking for the things that you and I might take for granted. They are asking for warm clothes, warm coats, mittens, and scarves. I am so heart broken for the parents of these children who have to ask a stranger to help them. But to its credit, some Walmarts put these trees up and then at the end of the season, they take up a collection among associates to shop for the angels that might still be on the tree. In some years, they have had adults on these trees, and I have noticed that these are the last of the angels to be chosen. I don't want to sound like a grinch, but there comes a time when you must realize that Santa might not make it this year. Children shouldn't have to learn that lesson while they are still small enough to believe in Kris Kringel. So if you see one of those angel trees, and you are in a position to help, take your children and shop for someone else. It teaches your kids a wonderful lesson about charity, generosity, and what Christmas should be about. And it makes you feel pretty cool too. Trust me on this, you'll thank me later.

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth or Cheap Crap for Christmas Parties

One of the expressions that my Mother used to pull out was Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. It wasn't until I was a little older that I came to realize that that means be grateful for what you have and don't criticize the gift. That being said, when my Mother reads today's blog, I am sorry, Momma. Now then. Every year, if you work for the happiest retail heaven on earth, you may have a Christmas party. I say you may have a party because some managers are too cheap to dip into their bonus, even for that. If you have a party, there is a chance that there will be prizes. Tamara told me about the parties that they used to have at her store. The manager then-Harry-would spend quite a bit of the money that was allotted on the associates. One year he even booked a nice reception room for the Christmas party, and associates came and went as their schedules allowed. The days of Harry are long gone where Tamara works. Last year, at the Christmas party, the store still offered "prizes" for associates. Every hour some one's name was called, and that associate received what ever prize was available that hour. Sounds nice, doesn't it? But the prizes that the associates received were all returns and discontinued merchandise. Some of the luckier associates got floor models that had been credited out. One lucky associate that Tamara works with actually "won" a floor model vacuum cleaner. The only problem with the prize is that the cord had been severed to discourage theft. The associate was told that it would be less than $15 dollars to get it rewired though. How lucky is that? A prize that lets you find an electrician! Wow! Now again, with apologies to my Mother-if a store cannot afford to give associates a prize that doesn't have a catch, maybe they should just give everyone a five dollar gift card? It's ironic that smaller companies in the area around Walmart will often come in and purchase $50 dollar gift cards for each of their employees. What are they doing so well that they can be that generous to their employees, and the largest company in the world is giving away broken floor models? If I find out, you can thank me later.

Christmas, Walmart Style

Do you have wonderful memories of Christmas, Hanukkah, or even Kwanzaa? If you do have wonderful memories of Christmas, there is a good chance that you don't work for the Grinch of Retail. Because if you do work for Walmart, there is a better than average chance that you have had to work up to the point of exhaustion during the Holidays. But you have to take the hours, don't you? Because as soon as Christmas is over-poof!-the hours are going to disappear, aren't they? And what if your religion requires you to honor it in a certain way? Well, you better hope your religion isn't Christianity, because if it is, your chances of getting to worship on a sacred holiday-say on Good Friday-are next to zero. Now if you are Muslim, your odds are much better, at least in Auburn, Indiana. Tom sent me an email. When Tom asked his manager if he could have Good Friday off to worship with his family, Tom was told that Good Friday was a Catholic Holiday, and Tom had better plan on being in the store to work. But when an assistant manager, Hatem Ali, needed time off for a Muslim holiday- guess what? He got it! Does that seem like discrimination to you? It did to Tom, also. But maybe Mr. Ali was lucky enough to have a religious holiday during a slower time for retail sales. I am certain that Walmart wouldn't be foolish enough to discriminate against Christians, would they? No, they are a family company. Just ask them. But if you do work for Walmart, prepare to celebrate your holidays in a whole different way. Carrie told me how her store cut hours for the Holiday. Instead of paying the associates for Labor Day, her store cut every one's hours. But did they even get an extra day off? Silly rabbit, no. At Carrie's store-they cut everyone 1.6 hours for the five days that week! I don't understand how it is legal to cut some one's hours in order to negate the Holiday pay that you are bound by law to pay, but if any one can find a way to do it, you know who that would be. So if you work for Walmart, buck up. There will be plenty of time to spend with your family on Holidays after you leave Walmart's employ, and until that happens make sure that your family takes lots of pictures of the celebration that you missed. You'll thank me later.

Great Managers Who Were Ground up and Spit Out

I cannot believe how many people used to work for Walmart. Quite a few of them were just looking for a stop gap measure, something to tide them over until they found a real job. Some of them however, were managers who had bought into the premise of Walmart and expected to work there until they retired. Have you ever heard the expression-if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. I imagine that God has had quite a chuckle at the thought of some of the people who believed that they were Walmart lifers when the company just ground them up and spit them out. Not all of them were salaried managers-some were just associates who had worked their way through the company and thought that they would be with Walmart forever. But since this post is about Walmart managers-I'll concentrate on them. Aloysius (if you want a better name, make one up yourself. If you ask me not to use your real name, I won't, but the name you get might not be pretty) was a night manager at a Walmart after working for a different company for over twenty three years. When he was abruptly discharged from that job, he needed something for a few years until he could retire. He came to the happiest spot in retail with a pretty good idea of what he was getting in to. He thought. Two years later and Aloysius was burned out. He had taken third shift because he felt that he could do more good with the warehouse experience that he had. If he wasn't bogged down in company policy, he may have been able to. He made it through two, almost three years, before being ground up with petty crap and taking an early retirement. He looks back on his Walmart career with a pretty hard eye. "I think I wasted almost three years of my life" he told me. "I could have been working at a convenience store and gotten the same result. At least at a convenience store, I wouldn't have been treated so badly." Another Walmart burnout was Thaddeus ( you guessed it, not a real name.) Thad ended up going back to his first love, construction, because he simply couldn't take the constant nagging and back biting that was working as salaried management. The 90 hour weeks made it impossible to see his children in any kind of meaningful way, and it destroyed his first(and second) marriage. Thad is a lot happier now, even with the house market crash. He told me that he has started concentrating on remodeling and things are coming along. He still has tight months, but he just thinks back to his time with Mr. Walton's company, and he knows that if he can survive that, he can survive anything. There are so many other stories of ex-managers and associates who are much happier now, perhaps I will revisit this topic. I'm happy for the ones who got out, and I cross my fingers for the ones who are still trying to find their way out. Good luck. And if reading this has inspired you to try working somewhere else, just thank me later.

Mr. Sam Would Be Spinning in His Grave

Back in the day, when Christmas rolled around, Walmart-that big hearted company-would give their employees an extra 10 percent off of one item. It worked out nicely if you were thinking of getting a big ticket item for Christmas or if you needed something expensive that you weren't expecting to have to buy. But that was when Walmart gave you a discount card right from the beginning of your hire, also. Now a days, you get a discount card after you have been there for 90 days, and instead of ten percent off one thing, Walmart gives you ten percent off some of the things that you would purchase as groceries. What a deal, right? But not so fast, what is this I see? Why, it looks like Walmart has gone through their groceries and marked things down by a penny (that's right-one cent) and made many of their grocery items ineligible for the ten percent discount. What a crappy thing to do. It's hard enough for associates to make ends meet when they are having their hours cut, but now those big hearted folks have pulled a bait and switch with their employees. I can only hope that someone got a bonus for thinking up such a clever way to screw over the associates. Not that the managers get any bonuses that associates don't get. Riiiiight. I remember reading that the discount card was Sam Walton's wife's idea. Is this what Miss Helen had in mind? I think not. At least Sam Walton won't get dizzy alone. I expect that his wife is spinning also. I also expect that the fat cat bonuses in Bentonville just got a little bigger. If you can find that part time job to work around your Walmart "full time/36 hour" job, you better take it. You'll thank me later.

Thanksgiving, a Time for Family Unless.......

How many times have you heard that Walmart is a family company? If you have spent more than ten minutes working for the Retail World of Merriment, you know that those are hollow words, indeed. How does this family company expect you to enjoy your family when you are working every major holiday at Walmart? That is, you are working every major holiday unless you are one of the select few who have found a way around that. It seems that the folks in the back offices have found a way around the dreaded Holiday conundrum. So why is it that they aren't needed? And more importantly-why is Walmart even open for all of these Holidays? I understand that they close on Christmas Eve, but what about all of the other family occasions?
Is it possible that the world might survive without Walmart open to sell DVDs and batteries and such? Easter would be a great day to gather with family and friends, unless of course you work for Walmart. So would New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, or even Thanksgiving for that matter.Whatever happened to Sunday being a day for family and quiet relaxation? I am not naive, I understand in today's twenty four hour, seven day a week go, go, go life that someone has to be open for the people who have to have whatever it is that they think they need. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Walmart were to have a major press release announcing their plans to close on Sundays in honor of the Sabbath and to give their associates time with their families? Of course, it isn't going to happen. The odds of Walmart closing down shop on one of their biggest days for sales is slightly less likely to happen than monkeys flying from an orifice of mine.

Whose family is important to Walmart? What would they lose by closing on these important dates? More importantly-what would they gain? They might gain the gratitude of all the associates who have to make choices on the Holidays. They might also become a respected leader in the community of good will by realizing that the people who work for them would like to have some uncluttered time with family and friends. The goodwill they could create would make a big dent in all of the negative press that they receive day in and day out. Of course, I'm not holding my breath. But if someone in Bentonville does give this some serious consideration, you know where to find me, and you can thank me later.

Just Smile and Wave

When was the last time that you were faced with something so incredibly stupid it took your breath away? I hope that you can say it was more than a week ago. But if you say five minutes,tops, I bet I know where you have been. I watched two people today while they were trying to do some Christmas shopping. One of them needed a toy and while the shelf was empty, he could see three of them on the top shelf. He tried to flag down a person to help him. No dice. After three minutes of waiting for someone, any one to ask him if he needed help, he went looking for someone to help him. A few minutes later he found a person in the new Walmart uniform of blue shirt and khaki pants and asked for help. He was told that someone would be right there. He went back to the area and waited. And waited. And waited. Ten minutes have now passed. So he began to call out in a loud voice "Hello...helloooo.... is there any body working here?" Nothing. It was two days after Thanksgiving, and he expected it to be busy, but not empty of help. He passed some of his time waiting by speaking to me. "All I want is that doll. I can see it on the top shelf, I just need one and then I can get the heck out of here." I wished him luck, and told him about this blog. I told him that if he played his cards right, I might just be talking about him in my next piece. He smiled, then went back to calling out loudly. We started to time it. He was getting frustrated, but putting on a good face for it. I was stretching my legs from a car trip and was curious to see how much longer this would take. If you are wagering at home, the answer is 23 minutes! The person he had flagged down went to break and forgot about him! It wasn't until the person was walking back from break that they remembered and called a member of management. When the customer tried to explain that he only needed a toy down from the shelf, he told it to the back of the blue shirt because the associate didn't wait to see if they could help. The assistant manager who finally showed up told the potential customer that the toy was out of stock. The potential customer pointed straight at the item that he wanted. The manager then excused himself and returned with-you guessed it!-the first associate who never even asked what was needed! He then found a ladder and brought down the item that the potential customer wanted. Ask if the employee brought down enough to restock the shelf. I dare you. The answer would be no, he did not. As the customer made his way toward to checkout, he looked at me with disgust."Sam Walton is rolling in his grave." he said. I had to agree with him. By then my knees were no longer stiff and I made my way back to my car. I thought of the expression just smile and wave. It was never more appropriate. When I read that sales were disappointing for Walmart this year, I was not surprised. If they would just listen to me and focus on customer service again, they might just thank me later.

Propoganda-Walmart Style

There are not a lot of perks and benefits when you work at the Retail Giant with a Heart. The pay is totally inadequate until you have been there for a while. The insurance is so bad as to be laughable, and you have to work there for a year before you even see any of the things that other places take for granted-like vacations. But if you were to go to any of their publicized stock holder's meetings, or many of the other meetings that they have, you would be so moved by the wonder that is Walmart-you would cast aside your pitiful life and join the company on the spot. Or is that what the moonies did? Either way, the end result is the same because the propaganda that is Walmart can be overwhelming. You can always spot some one new to the company. They have that bright glow as if all the things that they were told in their new hire meeting were actually possible. They believe that you can go as far as you want in the company. They were probably introduced to at least two success stories that started out as an hourly peon, and now enjoy all the benefits of being a member of management. They were also told how much they don't need a union, and how all the wonderful things that Walmart is about to do for them will be the best experience of their lives. Some questions they may want to ask:What happened to the discount cards that we used to get from the moment that we hired in? What happened to the notion of a forty hour week? How is 32 hours ever going to be enough hours to pay my bills, but is considered full time? What is going on with this crappy insurance? Why is it so expensive and yet it covers almost nothing? If the new hires still have jobs after asking those questions, they might want to try some of these questions at their first grass roots meeting: why do some people get their hours and others don't? Why do you bother to post jobs when you have already decided who is going to get the promotion? Why do you take hours from some stores and give them to others? Why do you cut hours to match the holiday pay that you have to pay out? Isn't that just not paying for holidays? Provided that the Walmart secret police haven't drug you out screaming, don't expect any answers any time soon. You are more likely to wake up a Walton then you are likely to get some straight answers. But if I get any, I'll pass them on and you can thank me later.

What You Wish You Had Said

Today's blog is pretty straightforward. Looking back, was there ever a situation that you wish you had said something differently? Many times, the perfect response to a comment or situation does not present itself until hours or even days after the time has passed to say it. I think of a time when I was helping a lady with no legs and only one arm do her shopping. She was in a motorized cart that Walmart provides. Another customer with more-shall we say-girth?-complained because there wasn't a cart for her to use. I simply apologized for her inconvenience and continued to help the other customer. What I wish I had said was "Ma'am, I am sorry that the cruel fates have left you addicted to the four boxes of Twinkies and the case of Mountain Dew in your cart. I only hope that it doesn't sever three of your limbs the way it did this lady!" Of course the only words that she would have understood would have been Twinkies and Mountain Dew, but I would have felt better. Another example of this would be when a horrible third shift assistant joined the overnight crew of Pedro's. This person was more interested in flinging her hair and flirting with the support manager than she was in getting any real work done. On any given night,Katrina could be found walking the floor with her support managers, and casually looking over the merchandise and commenting on working associates or items that were for sale. Pedro told me that he was informed by this Katrina that the walkie-talkie he had been using at work for the past five years was unauthorized and would not be allowed any longer. I am certain that it had nothing to do with the conversations that were over heard between the support manager and her. I am also certain that any "meetings" that they had in the TLE stock room were strictly work related. Pedro wishes he had said "Listen Kate, I know that you have a pressing engagement with the support manager. But frankly, I am too busy answering the calls that you cannot answer while you are having sex with the associate, to worry about much of anything else." So short as this blog may be today, send me a message with the situation you have dealt with and what you wish you had said. I promise, even in my post-Turkey intoxication, I'll print the best ones. And you can thank me later.

Lap Dog Toadies

The title of today's post comes from an expression used by one of the coolest Walmart associates I have ever had the privilege to know. Erin is an older lady who used to be quite pleasant, I am sure. But the years of working at the courtesy desk took their toll on her. Too many years of listening to con artists try to return stereo boxes filled with bricks and other assorted crooked dealings have seemed to have stripped Erin of her faith in her fellow man. Or woman. While standing behind the courtesy desk, Erin has has a lot of time to observe her fellow associates. The one group that she saves the most scorn for is the group that never seems to have any work that is more important that kissing the butt of whoever they perceive to be in charge. And this group can switch puckers in mid sentence if they have to. Which brings me to the question-why would you demean yourself like that? Were you genetically enhanced to remove all self respect from your self? Or do you honestly think that this is how people move ahead in their jobs? Even the answer to the question fills me with pity. There are many other names for a lap dog toady. Some of the printable ones include :butt kisser, brown noser, and suck up. But they all have the same characteristics, don't they? They seem to be born with that sixth sense of ferreting out the person in charge and wheedling over there to them. It used to be a good time to watch a switch in management so that you could watch all the toadies bickering and jockeying for position. Watching that is better than stamp collecting any day. In my opinion,Walmart should have a special class for management that teaches them how to suss out these toadies and keep that at a distance. They might gain the respect of the associates who are actually working, and perhaps get rid of a few that aren't. But enough of the daydreams. This is another subject that I don't have an answer for. I am open to any (printable) suggestions for what to do about them. I'll be more than happy to pass on any ideas that work. And then everyone can just thank me later.

What Exactly are These People Paid for Anyway?

If you've ever worked for that great big bundle of retail wonderfulness for any length of time, there is a good chance that while you were, they had a hiring freeze. A hiring freeze is just what it sounds like- for a time Walmart will not hire any one. Well.... almost,not hire any one. If a good friend of a manager gets in a jam, they have been known to bend a few rules. But right before the end of a fiscal quarter, or right before a huge company expense is expected, or sometimes, if the manager is trying to make sure his or her bonus is big enough, they will institute a hiring freeze. If you are silly enough to think that this means that the company has enough people to run the store, and they just aren't hiring any more, put away your crack pipe. What this means, is that Walmart doesn't care if they are under-staffed. No one is getting hired until they can do it without dipping into bonus money. For the average associate, the bonus doesn't mean anything. They'll never see the corporate bonus- they'll be lucky to find the manager who even admits this bonus exists. But for the average associate, they are going to be pulled in five directions at once as they try to cover all the work that is expected of them. Just because there aren't enough people doesn't mean that the freight is going to slow down, silly boy. It only means that you better get your butt in gear to get it all put away before it's time to clock out and go home. You also better be limbered up because you are going to have to cover at least three departments for customer calls, straightening shelves(zoning) and working freight. I guess you should just keep telling yourself that it will be worth it when the bonuses are passed out. Riiiiiight. But not to get too far off point, if a store has this many hiring freezes, what exactly does the personnel department do? I know they have many important papers to shuffle as they look too busy to come out on the sales floor and help with a crunch, but when there is a hiring freeze, what exactly can they be doing to fill their 8 hour days? They aren't interviewing people to work for the company,they aren't submitting paperwork for new hires, in fact the paperwork for regular associates has got to be a routine that they can finish with their eyes closed. So why is the personnel department eating up all those payroll hours when there aren't any new associates to process? And while I am asking questions- why doesn't personnel work when the associates work-that is to say the majority of the associates. If you have a set schedule of evening hours, or weekends, the personnel associates might be an urban legend for all the times that you'll see them. Why don't they have the personnel there when the associates need them to be there- say some evening hours and weekends? Why should an associate have to take time out of the rest of their life and come into the store because the personnel people work banker's hours? But enough of that rant. Good luck trying to get it fixed. Anna told me that she's been asking that in grass roots meetings, and now survey opinion polls, for four years. She's still waiting on an answer. I suggested she ask Bentonville directly. If they ever answer her, I'll let you know what they said. And you can thank me later.

If In Doubt-Terminate

I've spoken many times before about people who have gotten a raw deal from that big Happy Retailer we all know and love. Here is someone I haven't mentioned yet. When I heard what happened to him, I shook my head in disbelief. It seems that Joe worked for that bundle of retail heaven- Walmart- for almost eight years. He had started in grocery and quickly worked his way into being a department manager. He took a chronically under performing dairy department, and had the area making a profit for the first time in years. To understand what that means, realize that most of the time, if the dairy department is breaking even, most stores are happy. Between price matches, wic, food stamps and many other reasons, the dairy department is not a huge money maker. Why do you think most stores keep it in the back of the building? It is so that you pass all the other things that you didn't realize you needed until you passed them on your crusade to the back of the store for milk. Most people have to have milk, that's a fact of life. But if the store keeps it up front and handy, how are you suppose to realize that you also need batteries, chocolate cookies, and probably cold medicine? So there you go. At any rate, back to Joe. Joe was not only making money with his department, he was also saving Walmart with their P&L. (To the uninitiated, P&L is profit and loss ) To quit speaking retail, that means that Joe was able to make money in the department and also, and more importantly, he was able to not lose money in the area by rotating his stock, keeping the dates current and not losing track of product. But enough of Retail 101. In a nut shell, Joe was doing a phenomenal job in his area. If only he had agreed to do the comanager at the time, he might still be stocking milk and rotating yogurt. But Joe had a girlfriend, a conscious, and a sense of right and wrong. So Joe said no, and the next thing he knew- he had to go. Walmart wasn't sure what to do about the problem, so they took care of it in the way that works best for them-Joe was terminated. Not for doing a great job-no. Joe was demoted from running the department, transferred, then harangued until he was terminated. If Joe was one minute late in clocking out for lunch, he was given a verbal warning. Before he knew what was happening, Joe was given a decision day(Walmart speak for a day off with pay to decide if you want to keep working for them) then on the very next opportunity, Joe was an ex-employee. But don't look to see that little story told in a commercial any time soon. Joe has a job now. Actually, Joe has three jobs now. They cover his bills, feed his family, and give him the luxury of knowing that he was right, and Walmart was wrong. He'd like to have the luxury of only working one job, but he's hopeful that in spite of recent elections, the economy will turn around soon. When it does, he hopes to quit at least one of his other jobs. And when I told him that I couldn't wait to write about his story, he said he would thank me later.

So You Say You Want to be Promoted?

I had a conversation with Donny over the weekend. It seems that he has decided that he wants to join the management team of a certain retailer that we don't need to mention by name. Donny has been with the company for about 18 months and thinks he has what it takes to join the salaried ranks. He also wants to move up, he could see himself as a store manager one day. So, Donny made his feelings known. At each of the last two evaluations that he received, he expressed a desire to move up in the company. How was that request met? For starters, even though Donny has made sure he is cross trained in virtually every department, he only received a "meets" on his last evaluation. His Assistant Manager told him that she was strongly urged not to give out "exceeds" due to budget restraints. When he asked if that would affect his desire to move up with the company, he was told no- it has no bearing on that whatsoever. Guess what? It does have a bearing on the chances of going into the management program and those chances are much smaller now because of his mediocre evaluation. So what can he do about it? In the words of the assistant manager with whom he spoke about it-jack squat. It seems that the assistant clued him in on a few things that he was unaware of. First of all, he did not realize that many of the tasks he performs on any given day are suppose to be done by someone else. Someone who is salaried and makes more money than him. Second, many of the things that he has been asked to do-and done- are so out of his job description as to be laughable. And the third reason he was told that he will not see the comfortable chair side of the management program is because he is too good to be replaced! Not too good to give an exceeds to, but he never misses work, never hesitates to go somewhere else in the store, and never needs more than minimal supervision. If Walmart could clone this guy, they'd be shipping him out of DC's any day now. So Donnie is in a quandary. If he keeps doing this well, perhaps they will finally reward him for all of his hard work. On the other hand, if he keeps making it this easy for his assistant manager, why would they ever want him to go? And anyone who has ever put on a blue vest knows that the easiest thing for the assistant manager is always the right answer. What should he do? I don't have a good answer for him. If the job market is better in his area of the world than it is in the rest of ours, I would think that he should start looking around. Otherwise, he better cross his fingers that a TARGET store comes into the area. He can take his knowledge and work ethic there and perhaps be appreciated. If that happens, I'm thinking that he'll thank me later.

Are Unions the Answer??

If I'm in the mood to start an argument in my family, I only need one word, really: Union. There, I said it, so you may want to duck when my family starts reading this blog. I don't really have any strong feelings for a union or against a union, I've never been a member of one and I don't know that I am missing out on anything. I've read that they make a lot of promises, but I don't know how many of those promises have been kept. I remember my step-Father, one of the greatest men I have ever known, and the union that he was in. That union kept voting for the overtime that was mandated, and one of the greatest men I have ever known ended up working himself to death. My Dad thought that unions were the only way to go. He proudly participated in his union until his forced medical retirement. Unfortunately, the only thing that I ever saw either of these two unions do was send a beautiful arrangement to the funerals of two good men. They were nice flowers, to be sure, but all things considered, I would rather have those two wonderful men back. Now the biggest boogie man that Walmart has in their arsenal is the dreaded union. Whenever the talk starts to head around to a possible union invasion, you can hear the butts of management get tighter than a snare drum. I am not kidding. With a couple of drumsticks, you could line up management and have one of those drum wars that I used to love to listen to when I was younger. But is a union the answer? I don't know. I know that Walmart is not shy about closing a store that has a union in it. What can a union do for you? Can they get better insurance for you or could they just ask for better insurance? I've written before about my opinion on answering the insurance problem, so if you want that, look back through the older posts and you'll find it. Can they get more hours for you? Or would you have to work more hours to cover your union dues? Again, I don't know. Let me be clear when I say that I have never been a member of a union. I have family that is or was in a union, and the results are somewhat mixed. One of the center pieces for Walmart's anti-union rhetoric is the pat piece "Our associates don't need anyone to speak for them, they do a very good job of speaking for themselves!" That sounds nice, doesn't it? I mean-there is Walmart giving recognition and praise to their hard working associates. Or are they simply blowing smoke up the butt of those very associates so that they don't want to organize? I know that union membership is down from its heydays when they did real good with miners and such. I know that if they were able to unionize Walmart and it's huge legions of employees, the coffers would be overflowing in most unions again. But what good could they actually do for the associates? If they ask for more money for the associates and Walmart says no-then what? A strike? Now what are you suppose to do for money? And what about the other benefits? Can a union guarantee that you will get better benefits than you have now? Can they guarantee you anything? For the kind of money that union fees add up to, I would like to have some rock hard guarantees in writing. Again, this is one of the few blogs I've written without a definite opinion to state. For myself, I don't know that a union could do any more for a Walmart associate than simply asking for what you want yourself. If you have a definite opinion, please feel free to let me know. I could be convinced either way. I cannot stress enough that my mind is not made up on this. My mind is made up that Walmart has got to find a way to treat their associates better and stop taking advantage of shadowy laws and statutes. If I had been able to sue Walmart when the illegal immigrants that they hired through an agency mixed bleach and ammonia and almost killed me, I might be able to afford some of the other things I would like to have instead of the medicine that I have got to have so I can continue to enjoy breathing. The constant little cough that I have wouldn't aggravate the people that I care about, and I might be able to do more things with my boys without having to suck on an inhaler every couple of hours. I wouldn't have nosebleeds every few hours, and I wouldn't have to keep checking my nostrils to make sure that I don't have blood running down my face. I would have never scared any of my sons with a bloody face that I didn't realize that I had, and I wouldn't have had to hide my face to make sure that I didn't scare him any more. I wouldn't have scars on my vocal cords that sometimes make my voice lower than the "fun girls" on an old episode of Andy Griffith. Or Suzanne Pleshette. So if you have the answer to the union question, please let me know. I would love to hear it, and I would thank you later.

Manager Trainee Program

Walmart is very proud of the fact that they promote so many of their managers from within the company.They make sure to mention it at every opportunity they can. They have it on posters in the back halls, signs in the offices, it's even in the break rooms. It looks great on paper. But take a closer look. If you walk through any of the stores and take a look at the hard workers there, in a few years they will still be there. Who are these people that are in the management program? Many, many of them are associates who are in college and join the happy Walmart program while in school. A few are regular associates who want to go further with the company. They are in training to be salaried managers and are pampered and cossetted as such. They do not have a real clue what it is like to work in a store in real circumstances, and they never will. Every moment of their well constructed day is overseen by another member of the Walmart management team. At no time are they ever left unattended or unobserved. From the time that they start, until the time that they go home,they are supervised and babysat. Perhaps there is a better way to train them. Here is another idea: any person who wishes to be a manager in the happiest retail heaven on earth should be required to work for two years in a store. Not as a designated management trainee, but as an associate. Making the money that an associate makes, and understanding what happens when your hours are cut or you have three hours of work, and two hours to finish it.Put them on the new program that accounts for every minute of your time, but doesn't factor in any time for customer service. These trainees shouldn't be singled out for any special treatment in those two years, just given work opportunities in every single department. Meet with them every week to see how they are progressing, perhaps even explain the reasons for some of the things that they are doing. Explain the reasons that management requires hours to be cut at times, but that the workload remains constant. At the end of their two year training period, there should not be a job that they cannot do. I would think that cutting keys, mixing paint, selling a fishing or hunting license, cutting fabric, or fixing a battery in a watch would be just another day at the office, so to speak. And hopefully, after two years of getting by on Walmart pay, they should have a huge empathy for any worker who clocks in everyday for the company. But I am sure that this is never going to happen.It would make way too much sense, wouldn't it? I've had many managers brag that they started out as a lowly cart pusher in the store. This may be, but somewhere along the line, they lost their way. At some point in the process of receiving( and lying about the existence of) huge bonuses- lowly associates have been dehumanized into cattle that simply do the grunt work. They have a grass roots meeting every year, try bringing this up. Let me know how that flies,okay? Don't be offended if I don't hold my breath though. If it actually works, you can thank me later.

When This Blog Hits One Thousand

The subject today required me to do a little stretching before I started patting myself on the back. You see, the goal that I had set for myself was to see if I could catch the attention of anyone with my opinions. When I began this, it never occurred to me to have a counter on it to keep track of visitors. First, I was curious. After that, I was amazed. Of course I have a few friends to thank for their word of very big mouth, but still, Thank You to everyone who has bothered to take a few minutes and read this. Now that I am finished with the schmoozing part of my blog, let's move on. Something surprisingly useful came from a recent visit to that anti Walmart site. I found a link to a program that is coming out about how the recent election of B.O. was helped quite a bit by the mainstream media. I know, I know, you are as shocked as me, right? I mean how could anyone misconstrue the non-stop barrage of endless criticisms and nitpicking as anything but good old fashioned satire? And let's not forget that first amendment right to twist the truth in the name of comedy. But the smear job that was done on Sarah Palin and John McCain was sickening. And after watching a piece I found on the Internet at the site http://www.howobamagotelected.com/ I was dumbfounded. I have never seen so many people who are hopelessly ignorant of not just the issues, but life in general that have agreed to appear with out having their faces altered in some way. Holy crap, I kept thinking of the term useful idiots. If you go to the video, you will see a parade of them. It gives you a scary glimpse in to just how powerful the media is now. Too many people believe that if they see or hear something over and over on television, that it must be true. Sort of like the Jedi Mind Trick that Eddie Murphy used to joke about. You can also find a bit on youtube of a radio program that interviewed people about why they liked B.O. The catch is, they attributed John McCain's ideas to B.O. The ignorant sheep that heard the ideas loved every one of them as long as they thought that the ideas were attributed to B.O. Yikes! The scary part is that we are stuck with the incompetent jackass and his whopping 142 days of experience for a while unless he does us all a favor and gets himself impeached. Given the stellar group of his known associates that shouldn't be too difficult, even for him. Of course, that means his wife will have to go back to being embarrassed by being an American again, but they loved her on that estrogen no IQ fest that they call The View. Maybe she can be on that program for a while. They keep rotating out the crazy seat on that one, anyway. I don't really care what either of them do so long as they get to it very quickly. Pray for our Country for the next two years. We are going to need it. You'll see. And if they're answered? Just thank me later.

Walmart Blows Revisited

Okay, I'll admit it. From time to time, when I want to feel better about myself, I still take a look through Walmart Blows.com. I know, I know, it's a lot like slowing down to watch them rinse the blood off the road, but when you want to feel better about yourself, there is nothing better. It even makes a crappy day surrounded by idiots go a little faster. Especially when you read the thing over longer periods of time. I'm not suggesting that you go there every day-Good Lord no, what kind of loser does that? What I am saying is that if you need to feel better about your situation,no matter how bleak that may be, take a look at some of the whiners that frequent this site. Make special note of the headlining losers who either moderate this thing or suck up to those who do. If someone has posted more than say...300 times in a year or two, am I wrong in thinking that they need a life? No, I am not. If you really want to stir them up, ask questions. Those deputy dawgs will have you outed for a corporate spy so quickly, you won't have time to spell paranoid loser. But enough of that. Thanksgiving is closing in on us and it made me think of some of the things that I am thankful for. I'll state the obvious one first: I have three boys that are the light of my life. When things are at their worst, I still have three reasons to get up every morning. But I am lucky that way. Perhaps the people who inhabit this site have nothing else in their lives? Maybe this is the best thing that they have going for them. If that is the case, my scorn and derision have shifted into pity. What a pathetic waste of time. But back to the things I am thankful for. I have a very good friend who is going through a rough patch in his life. But he still manages to scour the Internet so that he can tell me blond jokes I've never heard before. I suppose it's all in what you make of it. So if you are working for that retail slice of heaven, hang in there- at least you have a job, right? And if other news, political or personal have you down, just try to keep your head up. Better times are coming. You'll see. And then you can thank me later.

The Walmart F Word-Favoritism or Hope Still Stinks

I have often railed against the inadequacies of hope. I believe my exact words are "hope sucks." I still feel that way, and yet here I am, like a plain girl waiting by the phone on a Friday night. It could happen. And that is the part that just makes me furious. I just hate the up in the air, not knowing feeling. I suppose I could be an Eeyore sort of person, but why would you bother to get up in the mornings? I think the thing that I would most like to see is a sense of justice in the world. Maybe a sense that there really is a Divine Power and that this Power might be on my side. In a way that is a sort of favoritism, isn't it? And believe it or not, this was originally going to be about you-know-where and their endless displays of favoritism. But I started thinking about favoritism and that evolved into hope. That dreaded four letter word. I think the problem is that if you get disappointed enough, you start to be afraid of hope. As if just the audacity of such a thing is going to open you up to big disappointments. Who knows? I am still trying to figure out why this ended up being a blog about hope instead of the favoritism often displayed at a certain retail giant who shall remain nameless. Maybe it's about hope because of Melanie H. Now Melanie sent me a wickedly funny email about her store in Tennessee. It seems that Miss Melanie was up for a promotion to department manager, or whatever it is that they call them now, and believed that she had an excellent chance of getting the job. But she was completely unaware that another associate had gotten in the habit of chatting up one of the co-managers during smoking breaks, and other times. Guess who got the gig? Was it A) the associate who has been in the same department for the last three years, learning everything that there is to know about her area, and often taking on more responsibility so that she would have a realistic idea of what was expected of her? Or do you think it was B) the new guy who had a knack for always being up the butt of the co-manager no matter where she was. Come on people-I've quizzed you before. I shouldn't even have to tell any one who has ever worn a blue/red/green/tan vest the answer to this one. But just for fun (and for any newbies who may be reading my stuff for the first time) the answer is B. Melanie is so disgusted that she wants to transfer out of the department but has been asked to wait until the new department whatever- they- call- them- now- is ready to stand on his own two feet. I think the word I am looking for is chutzpah. Melanie feels like a used condom, and I can't say that I blame her. With the job market as tight as it is, she feels stuck, but the first chance that she gets, she is going to bolt. Can you blame her? She wants to work for a company that actually wants to promote the best person for the job, not the brownest nose. I hope she finds something quickly. If she does, I'll let you know. If it's a great new job with the unlimited possibilities that used to be Walmart, I'll also let you know where that mythical place is. Either way, you'll thank me later.

Crooked is as Crooked Does

I have to give credit to one of my favorite movies for today's title. I read the book by Winston Groom, and I think that the people who wrote the screen play did one heck of a job with the material that they had at hand. But enough of good movies. I had an interesting email from a Walmart associate who took offense with the way that I described the happiest bunch of retailers in the whole wide world. It would seem that anonymous (who emails me quite often, by the way) had his/her (?) tail in a twist because I was explaining the problem that another e-mailer (this one not anonymous, but shy) was having getting any help while they were trying to shop. I went on to explain that I have done the very job that I was complaining about. I know how frustrating it is to have an idiot customer with a ridiculous complaint. But when Walmart was still signing my checks, I had to take it. Now that I am free at last ,free at last, thank God almighty free at last-I feel I can criticize because as the saying goes-been there;Done that. But enough of my resume. There was a time when Walmart had an amazing base of loyalty. It was not that long ago when they were voted one of the "most admired companies" by I think Fortune 500. But something has happened, and not for the betterment of Walmart, it's associates, or it's customers. What happened? Well, it's pretty simple to put your finger on that. What seems to have happened is that Walmart has quit giving a crap about anything except their bottom line. All of the things that made it such an outstanding company is quickly getting shuttled off to the sidelines in a sacrifice to the almighty bottom line. Associates who have devoted a large part of their lives have been forced out the door. Why? Because it's more cost effective (read cheaper) for Walmart to replace an associate who is earning $17.00 dollars an hour with someone who is going to start at $6.50. And that associate who is starting off won't have 4 weeks of paid vacation coming to them. That new associate also won't be grandfathered in to double time on Sundays,either. Not too shabby for a company who is trying to save a few million in payroll, is it? Walmart used to be a great place to have a career. Now, any one who has had the intoxication of orientation wear off, can tell you that the ideas and scruples that used to be in place are no longer there. Not that very long ago, there was a memo floated around that was reputed to be from a higher up in the Walmart food chain. This higher up had released a memo explaining that if Walmart did away with the majority of their associates who had been with the company for more than 8 years, the savings that Walmart would enjoy would be astronomical (my word) actually in the words of the memo- "in the millions." Disclaimers were quickly released poo-pooing (again, my word) the validity of the memo, but fast forward a few years, and what is this I see? The floor littered with long term associates who have been cast aside like a used tissue. In my opinion this is crooked. Crooked and wrong. How much did Lee Scott get in bonuses last year? How much did the other higher ups receive? And before we forget, the perks that the regular old members of management receive are pretty sweet also. Maybe not golden parachutes- but still a lot better than the empty knapsacks that the hourly associates are given when they are cast asunder. What can be done? That part is hard to say. The media has been complaining and or defending Walmart for so long that most people are numb to the problems. But if something isn't done about this soon, many hard working people are going to have their world's turned upside down when they are terminated from the jobs that they have had for so long. Call someone and complain. Elected officials, newspapers, 1.800.WALMART, someone. If enough people turn the light of public scrutiny on this problem, maybe they will be forced to stop. And if someone you care about gets to save their job, you just might thank me later.

This Just IN

Are you no longer working for that Great Big Ball of Retail Fun known as Walmart? Did your employment end through no fault of your own? Have you tried to file for your unemployment benefits? Are you holding your breath? If you answered yes to that last one, for goodness sake-stop!! You will be passed out or brain damaged long before this battle is over. For cost cutting reasons, the biggest retail giant in the world likes to fight every claim for unemployment benefits tooth and nail. They even have associates whose job is to go to court to fight these claims for them. That must be a job that makes you feel great at the end of the day, isn't it? I am certain that there are those people who are simply trying to milk the system for their extra time off with pay,however, I cannot believe the percentage of claims that Walmart fights is all because of lazy folks who don't really want to work. I find that it stretches the imagination to think that every person who files for unemployment is simply trying to get one over on Walmart. But I imagine that that is how they got to be the retail behemoth that they are, don't you? I guess taking care of the customers and the associates and making a profit just wasn't doable. So who got cut out of the loop-so to speak? Well, at first glance, it would appear that the associates are the one to get it. But how long before that trickles down to affect the customers? Will the customer get taken care of if the turnover rate in a store is so high that associates aren't in their jobs for any length of time? Will it affect sales (eventually) if customers aren't satisfied with the service that they are given? In a nut shell:yes. How can any industry expect to stay in business and treat the customer or it's employees so shabbily? The answer is that they can't. Sam Walton said to take care of the customer the way that you would want to be taken care of. It would seem that the folks in Bentonville may have forgotten this pearl of wisdom from the founder. If they want to send me an email, I'd be glad to send them a refresher course on Sam Walton's philosophies. I might even loan them a copy of a book or two. If they would take the time to reread them, I'll just bet that they would thank me later.

Walmart and Kmart- Such a Sense of Deja Vu

I spoke yesterday about the end of discount cards to associates until they are with the company for at least ninety days. That should work out well for the company and the money that they will save by not giving temporary hires access to one of the only good things about working at Walmart. It put me in mind of another former retail giant and some of the mistakes that they made. Back in the day, Kmart was the king of discount retail. It took over many chains-like Grants and others and formed them into one giant retail behemoth. But unfortunately for them-that is Kmart-they got lazy. And they also got sloppy.Fast forward some years and lo and behold-who is that filing for bankruptcy protection? Why it looks like that would be Kmart. Yes, Kmart. And who was that pounding the stake in the heart of the former retail giant? Again it looks like that could be Walmart. So what the heck happened? Part of the downfall can be contributed to Sam Walton dying. Not his fault, to be sure, I have no doubt that are a million things he would have rather done. Then Helen Walton died and any first generation concern that was invested in the company took a quick goodbye. So now what do we have? We have Lee Scott and company-good people perhaps- but not people who are invested in the company the way that Mr. Sam and Miss Helen were. To them Walmart is a paycheck it would seem, and the people who spend their lives clocking in every day are just the peons who make it happen. But that is just it. The people who clock in every day are the people who make it happen for the company every day. I have yet to see someone walk through those sliding doors looking for the corporate leader who can show them where the towels are. But, every day a customer walks through the doors of Walmart, looking for someone to help them find the things that they need. And when they don't find it? They walk right back out those doors and go to a store that does want to help them find what they are looking for. It might be a small time local store, or it could be another corporate giant like Target. Either way, Walmart has lost a sale, and if that customer likes the way that they are treated at the other store,then they have lost a customer. It gives me such a sense of deja vu, and I am so surprised that no one in Bentonville seems to be seeing the same things that I am. I wonder, will they see it before it is too late? Maybe if they do, they can give a heads up to the heads of the government that we have been inflicted with, thank you media and ACORN. But, then again, I could be dead wrong. It's happened before. I don't have any advice on what to say that will jump start Walmart into leaving the path they seem set on. If you do have any ideas for that, send them to Bentonville. I don't think that they will start listening to the grass roots results any time soon, but you never know, it could happen. And if it does, I'll bet Bentonville will thank me later.

Good Bye Discount Cards or The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

I have such a sense of deja vu when I hear that Walmart is doing away with their discount cards- at least until you reach your 90 day anniversary. That should save the company a ton of money from temporary associates and Holiday help. I have to wonder- will they still be eligible for the Christmas party gifts and other assorted crap that the Happy Heaven of Retail provides? Will the associates who haven't been with the company for more than 90 days be given a certificate for an extra 10% off one item? Oh wait- that would be just 10% off one item since they don't get the original ten wouldn't it? Here comes a startling guess. I am going to amaze Karnac with my bold prediction that Walmart will have a huge decrease in big ticket items purchased by associates this Christmas, as all of the temporary hires and the new hires won't have a 20% incentive to purchase that new video game system, or television, or (insert big ticket item here). It seems a little like cutting off your nose to spite your face, but then what do I know? My common sense-o-meter seems to be spinning like a drunken sailor. One of the things that truly sets off the common sense-o-meter is the question as to why Walmart would be cutting hours from so many associates' schedules now when the Christmas blitz (or black Friday as it is known in a few stores) is only a couple of weeks away. What are they thinking? Are they thinking? My guess would be no. That puts me in mind of recent political events. (That was one smooth segue-no?) I have never been an economics major but I have studied history for more than a few years. Anyone who has read this blog from the beginning knows that I am a news junkie. So when people talk about charging more taxes to wealthy Americans and successful companies-it begs the question: Are you stupid? Critics like to complain about the Ronald Reagan trickle down economics theory, but you can't deny that it worked. With only a small blip that the left-wing hysterical media screamed about as if it were the end of days-Ronald Reagan presided over some of the best economic times that this country has ever seen. We had $.59 cent gasoline and the economy was humming. He took care of the ne'er do wells that sought to harm our amazing country and he made people proud to be Americans again. And after the Jimmy Carter debacle, he made it so that we as a country could stand tall in the eyes of the world again. God Bless Ronald Reagan. But now we seem to have the anti-Reagan in B.O. Does he honestly believe that taxing wealthy people is going to stop with the tax on them? If he doesn't believe in trickle down prosperity, he is in for a rude awakening with trickle down declines. That would be when wealthy people feel poor. They don't seem to care for that sensation and it causes them to stop buying things and save their money until they feel wealthy again. One of the biggest problems with that is the things that they are buying are the things that the other ninety five percent of us are making our living by selling or creating. If the wealthy are too cheap to buy a new set of golf clubs-then you guessed it-the guy or girl making the golf clubs is going to get laid off. And the person waiting tables at the restaurant is going to see a huge decline in tips when the well off quit eating out as much. Do you follow what I am saying? Is it fair? I couldn't tell you that. The wealthy people who have the money are just as entitled to their money as I would be if I were smart enough and or lucky enough to earn/inherit it. Do I envy them? Does a frog bump his butt when he hops? But am I in favor of some huge wealth redistribution? We covered that in my ninth grade civics class. It's called socialism. As Ferris Bueller said once, "I don't believe in any -ism." I especially don't believe in socialism. Or socialists. Even if ACORN did help get one elected. But back to the ever popular subject at hand. Ask a manager at a Walmart what the logic is behind removing one of the best perks for temporary and new hires. When you don't like the non-answer that the manager spins for you-try 1.800.WALMART. Ask a suit in Bentonville, maybe you'll get a better answer. And if you do, maybe you'll thank me later.

Cheap Crap from China

When did we stop manufacturing things in this country? Do you recall any of the old commercials for Walmart that used to brag about all the things on the shelf that were Made in America? Do you remember any of the commercials that Walmart used to make that bragged about the companies that were rescued from bankruptcy by Walmart purchasing their products? Have you looked for any lately? If you do, I hope that you have better luck than I did last night. I couldn't sleep. A storm had blown up and I wanted to get out of the house for a while, you know how that is. So being in a small town, I went to the only thing that is open at 2:30 a.m. The associates were stocking the shelves, and I mostly tried to stay out of the way. There is nothing worse than dodging customers all night while trying to put things on the shelf. Especially if you are being timed on how quickly you put those things on the shelf. Speaking of the new "timing" policy that Walmart has instated-what happens if a customer needs help with something? Are you supposed to ignore the customer who needs cut fabric because it will throw off your count? Or are you suppose to take care of the customer and get yelled at( or even coached-which is the way that Walmart yells at you) for not getting the merchandise on the shelf in time? It makes me wonder what the new priority is for that retail giant with a heart. At any rate-what ever the product is that you are putting on the shelf-odds are that it was not made in this country. I hate NAFTA. One of the few things that I agreed with wholehearted was the derision that H. Ross Perot heaped on this particular treaty. I would love to hear from someone that could tell me what exactly it is that we get from any of the "trade partners" that we couldn't make better right here. In the town that I live in, the biggest company that actually makes anything is the one that makes cardboard boxes. What a huge benefit to the global economy that is! Never mind the televisions, electronic equipment or even a simple old widget-we are standing proud behind the boxes that we make. Presumably to package all the crap that we get from other countries. But I am straying away from the point that I was trying to make. I know that the Walmart buyers are busy every day finding the things that I am supposed to be unable to live without. But I wish once, just once, they could take a look at some of the things that are manufactured right here in our country- not shipped south or north by NAFTA, but honest to God made right here in this country and buy those things to sell from Walmart. Not that long ago Walmart considered stepping into the banking market. Instead of doing that, why doesn't Walmart begin a fund that could bankroll some of these smaller companies that need help to start out and create a lot of jobs right here! I know B.O. has all these tax credits and welfare flimflam that will create more government jobs but I was thinking that it would be really cool if we could create some real jobs that didn't require even more government interference. Then, Walmart could proudly stock those things to sell, people would buy them, and wham mo- you are looking at the finest things that capitalism has to offer. It's just a thought, but I am sure the potentially millions of people with the newly created good jobs would thank me later.