It's Official- Don't Rent to Tiana or Erik Frick!

I had a couple of tenants a few years ago that seemed okay.  She worked, he didn't. I guess that is good work if you can get it. I have never run across that particular sugar momma/daddy deal, so I have always dragged my happy butt to work.  But anyway-

I rented to the Fricks with the understanding that they had two dogs.  They were supposed to be there for a year, pay by the fifth of the month and not tear anything up.  Well then.

They were late for six of the eight months that they rented from me.  In the end, they went to some church that he went to, and that church paid their rent.  They told me that they were going to visit his parents for the weekend in October, and they never came back.

I waited for two weeks and then I tried to call the people that they had used as references.  One hung up on me and the other never returned my many many messages.  I went into the apartment after two weeks and I found a disaster.  There were piles of food on the counter.  Dirty dishes in the sink and piles of clothes everywhere.  No room was clean.  Upstairs, there were puppy pads with urine and feces on the floor.  

Let's not even start on the bugs they left behind.  But best of all was the time we spent in court.  On the first day, she stood up in front of the judge and said (with a straight face) that she knew she owed me some, but couldn't believe it would be so much! I guess she didn't bother reading those papers that she signed.  (Here's a tip- always read the lease you sign!) 

Then she said that she couldn't get off from work so could we reschedule it?  We did, for another Thursday four weeks down the line.  She tried for another delay and was rejected.  Finally, she gets to court and asks for a trial.  Again, she simply cannot believe that she is being held responsible for the lease that she signed. 

We had our day in court.  I started by introducing the lease that she signed. I pointed out the clause that she still had to pay if she quit the lease early.  Next, I introduced the utilities that she stuck me with.  Then I showed the pictures of the piles of filth that they left behind.  What was her response you ask?

She tried crying.  She said that the bugs were there when she moved in. The judge asked for any notes, messages, anything that would prove that she told me about the problem.  Nope. Nada. She also tried saying that she had to leave because her father was sick.  There were more tears at this point, but my eyes were rolling so badly that I may have missed some of them. 

In the end, I won everything that I has asked for and then some.  She would have been better off just agreeing to pay what I was originally suing her for, it was five hundred dollars less. 

So if you get yourself in a bind with your landlord-don't just cut and run.  We will find you.  And then you will have to pay everything you owed, and eight percent interest!  I haven't had anything pay that high of an interest  rate since Ronald Reagan was president. Hot damn.

Think about it, you'll thank me later.

And a special Happy Birthday to my youngest bundle of joy.  I love you David Alexandre!

Don't Bother With a Flu Shot

I hate shots. I have had to have many of them and I know for a fact that I could never ever be a junkie if it meant giving myself injections. No "high" is worth that silliness.  But I bought into the propaganda this year and paid good money for a flu shot. I might as well have taken the money to a casino for all that I have to show for it.
It started not soon after my birthday.  I knew it wasn't from over indulging, I barely indulged.  So I thought maybe it was a cold. No luck. I was running a temperature of 103 for six days. Acetaminophen would knock the fever back, but it never successfully killed it.
 Then there were the lovely side effect. I won't give you too much detail but I will tell you this: when vomiting and diarrhea strike at the exact same time- you have to make a choice.  Neither choice will be good.  Ask my cat.
When I finally broke down and saw my doctor-he told me that the flu shot was zero percent effective this year-in his opinion. I won't get another one unless it comes with a money back guarantee.  And as for those people who told me it was probably less severe because of the shot- I would ask which part was less severe? The 11 days of nausea? Or maybe it was the earache, sore throat, runny nose or stuffed head that was lessened. Nope. I know my chest wasn't less congested because of the shot.  I tool so much medicine that it ended up jacking my blood pressure up 86 points.  Yeah, it was less alright.
I understand that it is a guessing game when they concoct the formula for the flu shot. I know that there are a lot of algorithms involved and that it isn't a perfect science.  I would have done better to just drink schnapps.  At least I would have been getting more sleep.
But maybe there is some lucky soul out there who was helped by the shot. How nice for them.  It sure wasn't me- I can tell you that.  Think about it, you'll thank me later.

Birdman is Proof that the Oscars are Moronic

I am not saying that Birdman isn't a good movie.  Micheal Keaton should have been nominated for his role in Clean and Sober.  He was and will always be Batman to me.  But  the Oscars are too political, just like every other narcissistic awards program that Hollywood dreams up to make itself seem more relevant.
The Dixie Chick got a Grammy two minute before they imploded, remember?
I saw American Sniper a few days before I was waylaid with the flu and it was an amazing piece of story telling.  Clint Eastwood hasn't missed a step in his craft.  Not only did it show the raw heroism of an amazing Patriot- Chris Kyle- it also showed his flaws.  It didn't deviate from the book that much and it wasn't a long drawn out maudlin affair.  Can you imagine if an idiot like Micheal Moore had made the movie?  For one thing, it wouldn't have made a tenth of the box office that it has, and for another-it would have sucked.
Why does Hollywood have such a hard time showing the United States of America in a good light?  Is it because it rankles their sensibilities to attempt patriotism?  Or is it because they know deep in their heart of hearts that they hate America and all that she stands for?  My guess is on the latter.
I think of so many actors and the ignoring blathering and bleating that they make in an attempt to sound intelligent about world affairs.
All they really do is get in an echo chamber and repeat the same things ad nauseum to each other.  No wonder they are always surprised to discover that they are out of step with the majority of people.  No matter- they keep on keeping on, so to speak.  The Nazi propaganda machines have nothing on Hollywood.  They can take a lie and make it into gospel in the blink of an eye. (I can see Russia from my house.)
I don't care about the clothes that they wear.  Am I the only one who irony in Hollywood types yapping for income equality as they wear dresses and jewels that cost more than the average American paid for their house? I don't think so.  I don't begrudge them the necklace or the earrings.  But shut up your whining for oppressed people unless you are going to be donating those jewels to a soup kitchen.  For that matter- how much of that $160,000 "goody bag" are you donating? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/oscars/11388210/Whats-in-the-80000-Oscars-2015-goody-bag.html
There are two sets of rules for liberals, never forget that.  You'll thank me later.