Why Some Folks Get their Hours

When you work for a retail giant, do you expect fairness and honesty? Do you expect some level of integrity? Would you be more inclined to expect that when the retail behemoth in question drills that integrity crap into every meeting that you have with them? I am guessing yes. I am also guessing that if you work for Sam Walton's old company, you are giggling your head off right now at the thought of honesty and integrity in your workplace. The reason that I ask is because of a touchy subject in many stores called scheduled hours. Back in the day, before Mr. Sam was cold, full time meant 40 hours. Then one day every single associate was pulled into the back offices and it was explained that from that point on full time was going to be considered 34 hours. But this only applied to insurance and other benefits, the associates were assured. Walmart was actually doing them a favor it was explained. Some crazy fool had the temerity to ask "Does this mean our hours are going to be cut to 34?" Of course not, was the Walmart answer. We are only doing this to help you keep coverage for insurance and things. Fast forward a few years, and what is this I see? Why it looks like Walmart is cutting every hourly associate to 34-38 hours! Huh! That would seem to be exactly what they told the associates would not happen. Of course, when you look at the big picture, and take history into consideration, there was another retail giant that did something very similar to this, and I think they ended up filing for bankruptcy protection, didn't they? Of course, some people do manage to get their 40 hours a week. Sometimes they manage to get even more. The next time that you have to initial the hourly printout, peruse some of the names on your way to your own. You'll be amazed at the people who are not only getting their hours-they are getting a little overtime! That is crazy. If Walmart needs to cut hours-have they thought about cutting the same percentage from everyone? Ten percent would amount to four hours from the full time and 2.5 to 2.8 from the peak time help. Then everyone would be treated fairly, wouldn't they?Maybe Walmart should get a magic eight ball and try to figure out what is up ahead on this path that they are travelling. People need forty hours on their paycheck to cover all those silly little incidentals like food, and shelter. You shouldn't need a part time job to supplement your full time job. Unless of course you work for you know who. I'll save the want ads for you. You can thank me later.

Global Warming is a Bunch of Crap, and Other Thoughts

I have never been a fan of Al Gore's. I think he is a pontificating moron who babbles pseudo science to try to sound important. I think that anyone who has to listen to him speak for more than three minutes should be paid bore reparations. That being said, I think one of the biggest frauds being perpetuated on the American public is the myth of Global Warming. Any one older than 21 might remember the dark days of Jimmy Carter and his prolonged ineptitude. It was that genius who helped to make the Environmental Protection Agency what it is today. Never mind blaming Nixon for Watergate, his hand in starting the EPA should have been his high crimes and misdemeanors. It was said that in time the EPA would become the most powerful agency of the government, and look how things have come to pass. It's crazy. And if I have to hear one more chicken little tell me that the sky is melting, I am going to lose it. The beauty of Global Warming is that it is an all purpose bugaboo. If there are too many tornadoes- it's not because things like that are cyclical-no sirree- it's Global Warming. If there are too many hurricanes to suit-it must be Global Warming. And if there is too cold a temperature, or too hot a temperature-you guessed it Global Warming. If you get a chance, read an excellent book by Ronald Bailey. Global warming and other Eco-myths. Mr. Bailey does a wonderful job of explaining all the hooey involved in the myths of Global warming. It's brilliant and should be mandatory reading for anyone who wants to have a serious discussion about global warming. The only time I gave slack jawed Gore any credibility was when he spoke of urban sprawl. I do hate seeing housing projects spread from here to there in the otherwise pastoral country side. What Al forgot to mention in his Nobel Prize speech was that because of advancements in agricultural technology, we can grow more consumable food on less acreage. God bless high tech fertilizer. But I have noticed that some people truly have to have something to be afraid of, it seems to get them through their day, for some reason. One of my favorite excerpts from Mr. Bailey's book explains that the whole ice caps are melting hooey started when some genius went to the north pole, saw open water there and immediately went into liberal nut job panic over drive. If he had taken a breath and asked someone, they could have told him that the polar caps ebb and flow with parts of ice breaking off and moving all the time. Didn't he see the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as a child? They had people floating all over the place on pieces of iceberg, yet no moron was screaming global warming then! If you have to be afraid of something- make it be something real-two years of liberal control in Washington. Don't be afraid of made up Bogey men-unless you want me to tell you the story of the Golden Armed Ghoul-now that was a scary story that my brother Mitchel used to tell me. Relax, and let me know if you want that scary story of my brother's. You'll thank me later.

One Decent Thing

My Father used to say that every asshole is the best friend of someone. It was one of the things that I would just nod to, I had heard this expression many times from him. But he was right. In a surprising move-even to me- I am going to talk about one decent thing that some Walmart stores participate in. It's called an Angel Tree. What it is is a tree with many paper angels on it. On each of these paper angels is the age and sex of a child and some of the things that they would like to have for Christmas. Some of the things break your heart. When a child has to ask Santa for pajamas, it makes me sad. I always try to pick out an angel or two. Sometimes I have a child with me so that they can understand that there are children in the community who are less fortunate then they. Many of these children are only asking for the things that you and I might take for granted. They are asking for warm clothes, warm coats, mittens, and scarves. I am so heart broken for the parents of these children who have to ask a stranger to help them. But to its credit, some Walmarts put these trees up and then at the end of the season, they take up a collection among associates to shop for the angels that might still be on the tree. In some years, they have had adults on these trees, and I have noticed that these are the last of the angels to be chosen. I don't want to sound like a grinch, but there comes a time when you must realize that Santa might not make it this year. Children shouldn't have to learn that lesson while they are still small enough to believe in Kris Kringel. So if you see one of those angel trees, and you are in a position to help, take your children and shop for someone else. It teaches your kids a wonderful lesson about charity, generosity, and what Christmas should be about. And it makes you feel pretty cool too. Trust me on this, you'll thank me later.

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth or Cheap Crap for Christmas Parties

One of the expressions that my Mother used to pull out was Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. It wasn't until I was a little older that I came to realize that that means be grateful for what you have and don't criticize the gift. That being said, when my Mother reads today's blog, I am sorry, Momma. Now then. Every year, if you work for the happiest retail heaven on earth, you may have a Christmas party. I say you may have a party because some managers are too cheap to dip into their bonus, even for that. If you have a party, there is a chance that there will be prizes. Tamara told me about the parties that they used to have at her store. The manager then-Harry-would spend quite a bit of the money that was allotted on the associates. One year he even booked a nice reception room for the Christmas party, and associates came and went as their schedules allowed. The days of Harry are long gone where Tamara works. Last year, at the Christmas party, the store still offered "prizes" for associates. Every hour some one's name was called, and that associate received what ever prize was available that hour. Sounds nice, doesn't it? But the prizes that the associates received were all returns and discontinued merchandise. Some of the luckier associates got floor models that had been credited out. One lucky associate that Tamara works with actually "won" a floor model vacuum cleaner. The only problem with the prize is that the cord had been severed to discourage theft. The associate was told that it would be less than $15 dollars to get it rewired though. How lucky is that? A prize that lets you find an electrician! Wow! Now again, with apologies to my Mother-if a store cannot afford to give associates a prize that doesn't have a catch, maybe they should just give everyone a five dollar gift card? It's ironic that smaller companies in the area around Walmart will often come in and purchase $50 dollar gift cards for each of their employees. What are they doing so well that they can be that generous to their employees, and the largest company in the world is giving away broken floor models? If I find out, you can thank me later.

Christmas, Walmart Style

Do you have wonderful memories of Christmas, Hanukkah, or even Kwanzaa? If you do have wonderful memories of Christmas, there is a good chance that you don't work for the Grinch of Retail. Because if you do work for Walmart, there is a better than average chance that you have had to work up to the point of exhaustion during the Holidays. But you have to take the hours, don't you? Because as soon as Christmas is over-poof!-the hours are going to disappear, aren't they? And what if your religion requires you to honor it in a certain way? Well, you better hope your religion isn't Christianity, because if it is, your chances of getting to worship on a sacred holiday-say on Good Friday-are next to zero. Now if you are Muslim, your odds are much better, at least in Auburn, Indiana. Tom sent me an email. When Tom asked his manager if he could have Good Friday off to worship with his family, Tom was told that Good Friday was a Catholic Holiday, and Tom had better plan on being in the store to work. But when an assistant manager, Hatem Ali, needed time off for a Muslim holiday- guess what? He got it! Does that seem like discrimination to you? It did to Tom, also. But maybe Mr. Ali was lucky enough to have a religious holiday during a slower time for retail sales. I am certain that Walmart wouldn't be foolish enough to discriminate against Christians, would they? No, they are a family company. Just ask them. But if you do work for Walmart, prepare to celebrate your holidays in a whole different way. Carrie told me how her store cut hours for the Holiday. Instead of paying the associates for Labor Day, her store cut every one's hours. But did they even get an extra day off? Silly rabbit, no. At Carrie's store-they cut everyone 1.6 hours for the five days that week! I don't understand how it is legal to cut some one's hours in order to negate the Holiday pay that you are bound by law to pay, but if any one can find a way to do it, you know who that would be. So if you work for Walmart, buck up. There will be plenty of time to spend with your family on Holidays after you leave Walmart's employ, and until that happens make sure that your family takes lots of pictures of the celebration that you missed. You'll thank me later.

Great Managers Who Were Ground up and Spit Out

I cannot believe how many people used to work for Walmart. Quite a few of them were just looking for a stop gap measure, something to tide them over until they found a real job. Some of them however, were managers who had bought into the premise of Walmart and expected to work there until they retired. Have you ever heard the expression-if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. I imagine that God has had quite a chuckle at the thought of some of the people who believed that they were Walmart lifers when the company just ground them up and spit them out. Not all of them were salaried managers-some were just associates who had worked their way through the company and thought that they would be with Walmart forever. But since this post is about Walmart managers-I'll concentrate on them. Aloysius (if you want a better name, make one up yourself. If you ask me not to use your real name, I won't, but the name you get might not be pretty) was a night manager at a Walmart after working for a different company for over twenty three years. When he was abruptly discharged from that job, he needed something for a few years until he could retire. He came to the happiest spot in retail with a pretty good idea of what he was getting in to. He thought. Two years later and Aloysius was burned out. He had taken third shift because he felt that he could do more good with the warehouse experience that he had. If he wasn't bogged down in company policy, he may have been able to. He made it through two, almost three years, before being ground up with petty crap and taking an early retirement. He looks back on his Walmart career with a pretty hard eye. "I think I wasted almost three years of my life" he told me. "I could have been working at a convenience store and gotten the same result. At least at a convenience store, I wouldn't have been treated so badly." Another Walmart burnout was Thaddeus ( you guessed it, not a real name.) Thad ended up going back to his first love, construction, because he simply couldn't take the constant nagging and back biting that was working as salaried management. The 90 hour weeks made it impossible to see his children in any kind of meaningful way, and it destroyed his first(and second) marriage. Thad is a lot happier now, even with the house market crash. He told me that he has started concentrating on remodeling and things are coming along. He still has tight months, but he just thinks back to his time with Mr. Walton's company, and he knows that if he can survive that, he can survive anything. There are so many other stories of ex-managers and associates who are much happier now, perhaps I will revisit this topic. I'm happy for the ones who got out, and I cross my fingers for the ones who are still trying to find their way out. Good luck. And if reading this has inspired you to try working somewhere else, just thank me later.

Mr. Sam Would Be Spinning in His Grave

Back in the day, when Christmas rolled around, Walmart-that big hearted company-would give their employees an extra 10 percent off of one item. It worked out nicely if you were thinking of getting a big ticket item for Christmas or if you needed something expensive that you weren't expecting to have to buy. But that was when Walmart gave you a discount card right from the beginning of your hire, also. Now a days, you get a discount card after you have been there for 90 days, and instead of ten percent off one thing, Walmart gives you ten percent off some of the things that you would purchase as groceries. What a deal, right? But not so fast, what is this I see? Why, it looks like Walmart has gone through their groceries and marked things down by a penny (that's right-one cent) and made many of their grocery items ineligible for the ten percent discount. What a crappy thing to do. It's hard enough for associates to make ends meet when they are having their hours cut, but now those big hearted folks have pulled a bait and switch with their employees. I can only hope that someone got a bonus for thinking up such a clever way to screw over the associates. Not that the managers get any bonuses that associates don't get. Riiiiight. I remember reading that the discount card was Sam Walton's wife's idea. Is this what Miss Helen had in mind? I think not. At least Sam Walton won't get dizzy alone. I expect that his wife is spinning also. I also expect that the fat cat bonuses in Bentonville just got a little bigger. If you can find that part time job to work around your Walmart "full time/36 hour" job, you better take it. You'll thank me later.

Thanksgiving, a Time for Family Unless.......

How many times have you heard that Walmart is a family company? If you have spent more than ten minutes working for the Retail World of Merriment, you know that those are hollow words, indeed. How does this family company expect you to enjoy your family when you are working every major holiday at Walmart? That is, you are working every major holiday unless you are one of the select few who have found a way around that. It seems that the folks in the back offices have found a way around the dreaded Holiday conundrum. So why is it that they aren't needed? And more importantly-why is Walmart even open for all of these Holidays? I understand that they close on Christmas Eve, but what about all of the other family occasions?
Is it possible that the world might survive without Walmart open to sell DVDs and batteries and such? Easter would be a great day to gather with family and friends, unless of course you work for Walmart. So would New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, or even Thanksgiving for that matter.Whatever happened to Sunday being a day for family and quiet relaxation? I am not naive, I understand in today's twenty four hour, seven day a week go, go, go life that someone has to be open for the people who have to have whatever it is that they think they need. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Walmart were to have a major press release announcing their plans to close on Sundays in honor of the Sabbath and to give their associates time with their families? Of course, it isn't going to happen. The odds of Walmart closing down shop on one of their biggest days for sales is slightly less likely to happen than monkeys flying from an orifice of mine.

Whose family is important to Walmart? What would they lose by closing on these important dates? More importantly-what would they gain? They might gain the gratitude of all the associates who have to make choices on the Holidays. They might also become a respected leader in the community of good will by realizing that the people who work for them would like to have some uncluttered time with family and friends. The goodwill they could create would make a big dent in all of the negative press that they receive day in and day out. Of course, I'm not holding my breath. But if someone in Bentonville does give this some serious consideration, you know where to find me, and you can thank me later.

Just Smile and Wave

When was the last time that you were faced with something so incredibly stupid it took your breath away? I hope that you can say it was more than a week ago. But if you say five minutes,tops, I bet I know where you have been. I watched two people today while they were trying to do some Christmas shopping. One of them needed a toy and while the shelf was empty, he could see three of them on the top shelf. He tried to flag down a person to help him. No dice. After three minutes of waiting for someone, any one to ask him if he needed help, he went looking for someone to help him. A few minutes later he found a person in the new Walmart uniform of blue shirt and khaki pants and asked for help. He was told that someone would be right there. He went back to the area and waited. And waited. And waited. Ten minutes have now passed. So he began to call out in a loud voice "Hello...helloooo.... is there any body working here?" Nothing. It was two days after Thanksgiving, and he expected it to be busy, but not empty of help. He passed some of his time waiting by speaking to me. "All I want is that doll. I can see it on the top shelf, I just need one and then I can get the heck out of here." I wished him luck, and told him about this blog. I told him that if he played his cards right, I might just be talking about him in my next piece. He smiled, then went back to calling out loudly. We started to time it. He was getting frustrated, but putting on a good face for it. I was stretching my legs from a car trip and was curious to see how much longer this would take. If you are wagering at home, the answer is 23 minutes! The person he had flagged down went to break and forgot about him! It wasn't until the person was walking back from break that they remembered and called a member of management. When the customer tried to explain that he only needed a toy down from the shelf, he told it to the back of the blue shirt because the associate didn't wait to see if they could help. The assistant manager who finally showed up told the potential customer that the toy was out of stock. The potential customer pointed straight at the item that he wanted. The manager then excused himself and returned with-you guessed it!-the first associate who never even asked what was needed! He then found a ladder and brought down the item that the potential customer wanted. Ask if the employee brought down enough to restock the shelf. I dare you. The answer would be no, he did not. As the customer made his way toward to checkout, he looked at me with disgust."Sam Walton is rolling in his grave." he said. I had to agree with him. By then my knees were no longer stiff and I made my way back to my car. I thought of the expression just smile and wave. It was never more appropriate. When I read that sales were disappointing for Walmart this year, I was not surprised. If they would just listen to me and focus on customer service again, they might just thank me later.

Propoganda-Walmart Style

There are not a lot of perks and benefits when you work at the Retail Giant with a Heart. The pay is totally inadequate until you have been there for a while. The insurance is so bad as to be laughable, and you have to work there for a year before you even see any of the things that other places take for granted-like vacations. But if you were to go to any of their publicized stock holder's meetings, or many of the other meetings that they have, you would be so moved by the wonder that is Walmart-you would cast aside your pitiful life and join the company on the spot. Or is that what the moonies did? Either way, the end result is the same because the propaganda that is Walmart can be overwhelming. You can always spot some one new to the company. They have that bright glow as if all the things that they were told in their new hire meeting were actually possible. They believe that you can go as far as you want in the company. They were probably introduced to at least two success stories that started out as an hourly peon, and now enjoy all the benefits of being a member of management. They were also told how much they don't need a union, and how all the wonderful things that Walmart is about to do for them will be the best experience of their lives. Some questions they may want to ask:What happened to the discount cards that we used to get from the moment that we hired in? What happened to the notion of a forty hour week? How is 32 hours ever going to be enough hours to pay my bills, but is considered full time? What is going on with this crappy insurance? Why is it so expensive and yet it covers almost nothing? If the new hires still have jobs after asking those questions, they might want to try some of these questions at their first grass roots meeting: why do some people get their hours and others don't? Why do you bother to post jobs when you have already decided who is going to get the promotion? Why do you take hours from some stores and give them to others? Why do you cut hours to match the holiday pay that you have to pay out? Isn't that just not paying for holidays? Provided that the Walmart secret police haven't drug you out screaming, don't expect any answers any time soon. You are more likely to wake up a Walton then you are likely to get some straight answers. But if I get any, I'll pass them on and you can thank me later.