Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Heyyy Abbott-Walmart stole our routine!!

Try to think of a useless government agency,quickly. I know, I know, just one? If we ever get to vote on one useless agency, my vote goes hands down to child protective services. The child welfare people. I just had an incredible conversation with someone. Here is the gist of it: I have seen a child that has a huge black bruise on their arm and five different stories on how it got there. "Did you witness the bruise being created? No. the child was very hesitant to show me their arm and when they finally did, the child gave me five separate stories on how it could have happened. Did you not like the reasons for the bruise? It wasn't a question of liking the answers, they made no sense. It didn't look like a bite from a sibling, it didn't look like it was caused by a car door, there was no strong line through it like you get with a sharp corner. It doesn't look like it came from a scuffle with another child, it doesn't look like the sort of incidental bruise you get and don't realize that you have. I took pictures of it, do you want to see them? No, we can only look at pictures of bruises that we take ourselves. So what am I supposed to do about this child that may be in danger? We'll have a staff meeting and decide if action needs to be taken. Thank you for your time. Does this seem at all familiar? Hello, store manger, I have a question about my job. Are you supposed to be doing that job right now? Yes, but I don't feel that I have been given the proper training to do this job. Why not? Because the training video I'm supposed to watch so I can finish my cbls is at the home of the department manager and she keeps forgetting to bring it in so that I can watch it. That can't be.Wal-mart doesn't allow non salaried associates to take their work home with them. It must be something else. Okay-but how am I supposed to train for my job without the right materials? I can't give you that answer right now, I'll have an assistant over that area find out why you haven't seen the training video you need to see. Will I still be written up for not completing my cbls on time? I cannot change the policy on that. Everyone is held to personal responsibility for completing their work on time. It would be against our policy to make exceptions. But store manager, I cannot watch the training video if it isn't here, can I?Can I get another copy from another store and watch it? I cannot allow you to ask for the copy yourself, and they can't give it to you. We must get the copy for you to watch. So can you get another copy for me to watch? Each store is given one copy of this training video, you are going to have to watch the one that we were given. At what point does it start to seem like a really lame version of an Abbott and Costello routine? So it begs the question, is the whole world going crazy? Or is Wal-mart logic taking over the world? You'll want to find the answer to that one, trust me, and you'll thank me later.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Walmart ethics,101

I used to love to travel. When I was little, it was not uncommon to jump in the vehicle on Friday and not be home until Sunday. It was great. You never knew what was going to happen, and the world was full of possibilities. Kind of like when you first start working for Walmart. They have these big training sessions, and they like to tell you that you can go as far as you want to in the company. The only person who sets the limit is you. You can always spot someone who has just started working for the company. They still buy the hype. They think it's great that they have the stock options, and the bonuses, and the world is one big oyster. The other side of that coin is the reality of working at Walmart for more than a year. Talk to a long time associate, and you see something different. A lot different. A few years ago at a Walmart in the north, an associate was promised a department manager position. The current department manager was moving into a salaried position and that left an opening. Walmart policy is to post every job opening, no matter how small. The way around their policy is to post the job, then hire who they wanted in the first place. The personell assistant wanted the grocery job. So they gave it to her. Never posted the job, just gave it to her. This left an opening that was filled by the head csm. She wanted to be off her feet all day. So they gave it to her. Just gave it to her without asking if anyone else was interested in the job. Her job as head csm was posted. Eight people applied for the job. It was already promised to the person that was hand picked by the outgoing csm. So, walmart spent over ten hours of payroll interviewing people for a job that had already been filled. In the end, the preordained person got the job. What a surprise for all who interviewed for it. I guess the problem for me seems to be that a company that screams accountability from the rooftops seems to have a hard time enforcing any ethical accountability. So if you've just started working for the biggest corporation in the country,try to remember how happy you were when you got the job. You'll thank me later.

Friday, September 19, 2008

That lady justice chick is full of crap

Had an interesting conversation today. I got to spend over an hour with an attorney who thinks he has an honorable profession. In the words of my niece,"whatever." I don't understand how you can justify the big picture to yourself everyday and still get up and do it all over again. This particular attorney had defended someone who was innocent. He knew it. She knew it. She had even taken one of those voice modulator lie detectors that measure the timbre of your voice, and can calculate, with accuracy, if you are telling the truth. She passed it with flying colors. But he still talked her into pleading guilty to something she did not do because it was more cost effective. Another interesting tidbit. The husband of the accused had been tampering with odometers for many years. Some of the odometers that he finagled just happened to be the lease cars of assorted Judges and people of note. When the lady in question brought this information up to her attorney, he plainly told her:"If you bring up one word of this, I will ask to be reclused from the case. I have to work in this area, all of the judges in these counties are friends ,and it would be professional suicide for me to do that." And with one final wave at his oath and ethics, he advised her to plead guilty. The judge had a vested interest in keeping her husband happy. Fraud and vehicle tampering don't look good on any one's resume'. So they offered her a deal, and in fear she accepted it. The problem now is she feels like she is a moral failure. One long conversation later and she still feels like she made a mistake. What are you going to do? So tonight shouldn't be that much of a jump to the happiest work environment on earth. The first time that I read the Wal-mart ethics statement, I guffawed. Out loud.Twice. I tried to cover it up with a fake cough and a surreptitious sip of water. It was a close call. Without too much eye-rolling, I managed to get through their mission statement,also. Oh man. At least four outright examples of breaks in the policy danced through my head as I skimmed the pages. One of my personal favorites involves someone who used to work in the dairy department of a supercenter. He took a department that was historically a money loser and turned it around. It was actually showing a profit and then the comanager asked him out. He politely declined. She asked him again, and he jokingly said that if his girlfriend didn't mind, he didn't either. Wrong answer. By the time it became obvious to this horny comanager, he was out of his job. The five years he had spent with the company were gone in a flash. Lucky break for the comanager, though. Turns out the associate she hired to replace that dairy department manager was also able to loan her almost seven hundred dollars. I didn't realize that was the market value for department managers. So if you are looking to advance, just save, save, save. With the right financial pluck, you can have that department manager position.Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Too many a-holes, not enough bullets

Why do some people take so much pleasure in being an ass? It's almost like a badge of honor for them. Were their parents asses? Is it a family inheritance, or a defect, maybe? I just don't understand what the big attraction is, perhaps if I try it, I'll discover what I am missing. The asses that I meet seem to be very content with their situation. Case in point: I am tired from driving all day and stop to get one of those cappuccinos from a machine.(Those things are fabulous and proof that God loves us.) Some rude jackass bumps into me with their child and I burn myself to keep from scalding the toddler. If you are still waiting on that rude person to say excuse me, or even acknowledge you with a whoops, you might as well go home. Your coffee is getting cold. I just blew it off to bad breeding.What can you do? The same thing can be applied to Walmart. It amazes me how many people go to work there with the sole intention of being a weenie. Did they not understand the job description when they took the job? Didn't they understand that there would be customer interaction? I spent ten minutes reading an email from an angry older gentleman today. He has spent his entire life in service to the country and now that he is retired, he just wants to grow his azaleas and be happy. He needed acid for his soil. Everyone knows that if those azaleas don't get acidic ground they are done for. After waiting 5 minutes for the two clerks to wrap up their conversation about who was bringing what to Meemaw's bar b q, he politely interupted them to ask for the product he needed. The cashier who is bringing potato salad just looked at him. The cashier who is bringing the baked beans pointed. Neither of them ever said a word that wasn't Meemaw related. At least they didn't say it to him. He left without his acid and went to the local hardware store. There, a gentleman not only took him to the product, but spent several minutes discussing the better ways to compost with him. They are going fishing this weekend. So I guess the lesson here is, if you can stand to spend a few cents more, try the local stores. You'll get what you need, and maybe even a fishing buddy. Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

foreclosure crisis? we ain't got no stinking crisis!

If you are one of the millions of people going through a mortgage crisis, you are in my prayers. It is a very scary, humiliating, awful time. The thought of being out on the street, even worse if you have children; has got to be one of the true terrors of all time as an adult. Do you know what makes it worse? When the bank that you are working with is more interested in foreclosure than in getting their money. That's right. You heard me correctly. Someone near and dear to me is going through a foreclosure right now. Not her fault, by the way. She is not one of those people who bought too much home thinking she had some sense of entitlement, or built a 4000 square foot monstrosity with no reasonable expectation of making balloon payments when the adjustable mortgage rose. She bought a house with her husband and started to raise a family in it.She grew a garden, planted trees, and chased after the American dream. It turns out the man of her dreams was also the man of a co-worker's dreams. He neglected to make a house payment for eight months, and when she found out and began to try to fix the horrible mess he had made she ran into one stonewall after another. Enter the best relative you could ever ask for. Her brother has offered to loan her the money to get her home out of foreclosure. Problem solved, right? Ha ha ha, you silly thing. First problem:M&T bank won't return her calls for days at a time. The person she needs to talk to is on her honeymoon or some trip away and no one else in this huge bank can help her. Problem number two: when the bank does return her messages and sends her the amount she needs to reinstate her loan, the figure that is supposed to be good for a month is good for only three days! She spent four whole eight hour days trying to get this fixed. In the mean time the amount to save her house has quadrupeled over the last two months. I'll bet you are wondering how this ties in to the greatest company on earth, aren't you? Guess where she worked for ten years before being terminated for taking too long to come back from a medical leave of absence? If you guessed Walmart, you got it in one, smartypants. And it is purely a coincedence that a memo was leaked six months earlier that explained how much Walmart could save if they went with a plan to terminate as many associates as possible who had been there for seven years or longer. Purely a coincedence. So what would have happened if the amoral genius who came up with this plan had kept their big mouth shut? For starters, a family wouldn't be worried about where they are going to live,and I'd have had to come up with something else to write about. People who have given many years of their life to their job wouldn't have to worry about starting over at the bottom somewhere else. And maybe, just maybe, Walmart would be a great place to work again. If only Congress would do the work of the people, and show some interest in problems like these. If only the mainstream media was more interested in this than some poor girl in Alaska who accidently got pregnant. If only. Try calling your state and federal represenatives and asking them the same question. You'll thank me later.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

If You're Going to Work in Indiana, Make Sure You Don't Get Hurt!!

If you go to work in your state and you get hurt there by no fault of your own, do you think you'll be set for life if you sue your employer? Not in Indiana you won't. Indiana, you see, like many other states is trying to do everything it can to lure businesses into the area. One of the things that it does to make this happen is give huge discounts on taxes and things for a while. Sounds good, doesn't it? But something else that it does may surprise you. In Indiana and many other states, if you get hurt at work because of the negligence of your employer, you are unable to sue them. Why, you ask, is that possible? Who would allow something so blatantly un-American to flourish? Silly rabbit, your elected officials did when they sold you out to big industry. They sold you out in the interest of creating more jobs in their district. And they think they did you a favor. Perhaps they will cozy up to you, put their arm around your shoulder to comfort you and whisper something soothing like,"In the unlikely event that you would get hurt, we have many safety measures in place. Workman's comp, for one." But what do you do if your employer is second only to the government in the number of employees it has, and it controls every aspect of the compensation process? Again, if you live in Indiana, you might consider getting a second job to pay for the medicine that the company says you no longer need, even though your Doctor is pretty sure that you do. What does he or she know anyway? He or she only went to four years of college, four years of medical school, and three to five years specializing in their area of expertise. An elected official probably has a high school diploma, at the very least. Never mind if their misdirected policies have cost you your home, your car and your credit rating, they probably know what is best for you. Scary isn't it? Thank God the media isn't obsessed with a working mother who may or may not have voted to take money on a pork barrel project. No doubt your repeated attempts to contact them will be met with tons of interest.Someday. But in the mean time,hang in there. This sort of thing can't happen to you or someone you care about, right?Riiiiiight. (Shades of Dr. Evil) Just be careful at work. Very, very careful. You'll thank me later.

when you are lied to

Have you ever been lied to? Not just a lie of omission, but a great big whopping truth bender? It stings, doesn't it? I know it would seem like I am going off on another anti Wal-mart rant here, but only partly. I have been lied to recently, and by someone I had truly believed in. I am a firm believer in the adage, "everyone lies about something" even if it's those dreaded white lie rationalities to make you seem like less of an asshole to yourself. I myself am working on cutting back. If I think that the answer I am going to give is going to be less than helpful, I try not to say anything. But that is still a lie of omission, isn't it? I guess you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. The case in point is my father-in-law. He died a few weeks ago, and I am still grappling with how I feel about it. There was a time when he was very special to me, a father figure, when mine was sorely lacking. That changed, however, when he kept the knowledge of his son's infidelity from me. I know, I know, it was his son, and I was just the woman married to him. But, so many times he told me that I was the daughter that he and his wife never had. I guess that makes my husband's partner in adultery the lying whore that he never had, either. To circle this back around to Wal-mart isn't much of a stretch, now. I was talking to someone yesterday who had been lied to by this particular company for over a year and a half. My first question to him was,are you stupid? (I'm famous for my sensitivity, by the way) No one takes 18 months to give you an answer. Especially not a company with their famous sun down rule. For those of you lucky enough not to be steeped in Wal-mart culture(or b.s. as the case may be) the sun down rule states simply that Wal-mart will have an answer or fix the problem by sundown. Not 534 sundowns. So anyway, here he is getting yanked along waiting for his co-manager to finally live up to her word. I'll keep you posted, but it still hasn't happened yet. I hate liars. If you are going to waste my time with a lie, just save it. Use the time to figure out why you have a problem telling the truth in the first place. You'll thank me later.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

holy crap are they crazy???

One of my favorite things about doing this is hearing from people. Since all of my p&m's (that's pissings and moanings) have been about the same wonder company, I have had several people send me links to different walmart hate sites. If you ever want to feel better about your circumstances, just go there and give those folks a look see. My favorite one of the moment is walmart-blows.com. yeah. It is chock full of people who claim to hate their job, but then spend endless hours posting random bitching about it and the people on it. Okay. Being the more mature sort I elected to take my ball and go home. So there. Besides, I am hoping to bring more to the table than just an endless complaint about one place. Otherwise,it would be too much like the girl in highschool who had one crappy date with a guy, then talks about him for the next three months. I think we all went to school with her, didn't we? I always preferred the psuido slutty girl who thought she was hot because she let guys feel her up on the first date. Those girls were much more fun to laugh at. But before I get off point here, if you have a heartfelt complaint that you want to be heard, be it about walmart, or whatever, let's hear from you. And to the guy who keeps sending me those tacky, tasteless, demeaning, sexist blonde jokes; God bless you sir, keep up the good work! There's no sense it holding it in. Ulcers aren't worth it. Believe me,You'll thank me later.

marriage and the Walmart way

I wonder how many marriages walmart has cast asunder? I can think of the affairs that I have witnessed with my own eyes, and I try to offset that by the people who met(while both were single) and are still married. That number would be one.Single digits in the extreme. And the funny thing is, neither of them still work for the company. Coincedence? Now affairs, that would be a new column. In talking to people who did or still do work for the company I hear all kinds of things. One huge no-no for the company is salaried/ hourly fraternization. It's not going to happen, absolutely against the company policy. Right. To hear the company tell it, if a salaried member of management is eating in public and an hourly associate comes into the establishment for a meal, the member of management is to "quickly and with haste, finish their meal, pay the check, and leave before any chance for fraternization conflicts arise." That sounds very forthright and professional, doesn't it? Too bad the company doesn't have a more clear policy on sexual relations. Example one- an associate in the cash office at a midwestern store is smitten with the co-manager that had just transfered to the store. She had worked at that particular store for over eight years, he had been with the company for three years and a co-manager for one. Flirty conversations and innuendo became accidental contact. That evolves into phone calls when the co-manager isn't working.That evolves into three seperate meetings at a motel in a nearby city. The wife of the co-manager finds out. She is very unhappy as you can well imagine. An ultimatum is issued and the co-manager transfers to another store and is then given the option of quitting before he is fired. He works for Best Buy now. He said the opportunities were more abundant. Right. The hourly associate is given a promotion after promising(in writing) that she will not pursue any sexual harrassment charges. The company paid to move her to her new location and she now audits other stores' books for them. An on the back promotion, if you will. The other associate who had been told he was guaranteed that job was told it was an emergency tranfer for health reasons. Fiscal health? Perhaps. Another fun episode happened in a South Carolina store when the manager of the facility got divorced after fifteen years. An associate in the upc office didn't hesitate to make herself available for extra hours, so to speak. After the fifth complaint was filed that they had been walked in on, the company decided that he had cooked the books with some malfeasance and she was transferred to a distribution center with a higher salary. Who says that Walmart discriminates against women? They do seem to have one sure fire method of promotion, a fast track, if you will. The lesson seems to be: Gentlemen, don't do it. If you do it anyway, don't get caught, without a backup plan. Ladies- if all else fails and you can't get that raise any other way, give it a shot. You'll thank me later.

Friday, September 12, 2008

pedophiles are people,too

Here is my new favorite. The Walmart in Auburn, Indiana has those people greeters, or door greeters, whichever you prefer, the same as every other Walmart in the world. What you may not know is that they sometimes had a registered sex offender giving out stickers to the little kids as they come in the door. Sounds too crazy to believe, doesn't it? Now, I am the sort of person to let a person's past stay in the past, within reason. I believe that anyone can make a dumb mistake and they should be able to move forward from it. Within reason. When it comes to sex offenders, particularly involving children, I'll buy the bullets if that's the hold up on justice. But Walmart, God love 'em, had an associate at the door who is a registered sex offender,and he was a greeter on more than one occassion!! I appreciate someone handing me the cart, but not if it puts my kids at risk, you know? I thought the whole point of registering those people was to keep them away from children, and keep our children safer. I guess Walmart supercedes the whole child safety issue. It's great being the biggest company in the world, isn't it? So just to let you know, go to the sheriff's website in Indiana. You can find the link to the sex offenders in your area, complete with a picture of them, their address, and usually a work address. Take a good look at their faces, you never know when one will be welcoming you to your friendly neighborhood Walmart. You'll thank me later.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

absolute paranoia

After asking for people to contact me with any information about Walmart that doesn't exactly jibe with their corporate public image,I can't believe how inundated I was. I seems that there are lots of people waiting to get something off their collective chests.Some were a little petty,(they don't carry my peanut butter anymore and won't tell me why) to down right scary (the department manager of a dairy area has hepititis C and they have this person handling fresh food every day) ; but one thing is constant. Bentonville will not return my calls. Nope. Not one. They must be pretty busy down there. One person who contacted me was in tears. Kathie, in Oregon, has a colostomy bag. The people greeter at her friendly neighborhood walmart told her " she is going to have to cover that thing up. Normal people don't want to see that when they are out." Kathie is also waiting to hear from Bentonville. They must be really busy down there. So if you see this and have some stuff to share, don't hesitate to contact me. I promise I'll get back to you faster than Bentonville would. You'll thank me later.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Mr. Sam would be so proud

I started working for Walmart in 1999. I was a good employee. I drank the kool-aid, so to speak. I went from cashier to customer service manager in less then a year. I did what they asked of me, and spouted the company line. This is how they thanked me: In 2002 a crew of illegal aliens that was hired by a third party for walmart(that would be Midwest Maintenance) mixed bleach and ammonia. The chlorine gas that they created almost killed me. It left me with breathing problems that I still have today. Long story short Walmart sent me to a ringer-that is to say doctor-who said there was nothing wrong with me. My doctor ,who had been treating me for over two years, was amazed. Walmart cuts off all payment of medicine leaving me to get a part time job to pay for medicine from a problem they created. With me so far? Well, it gets better. The attorney that I hired to help me finds that the company that did this to me is scattered to the four winds. The "insurance" that they claimed to have had wasn't worth the paper it was printed on. It specifically excluded any damage from spills or chemical fumes that they might create. Exactly the sorts of accidents one might expect from a cleaning company,no? So I guess no one from Midwest Maintenance or Walmart bothered reading the papers that they required. So now, here I am. I can't be around cold or excessively humid conditions for long periods of time and I still cough blood sometimes. The insurance company went into bankruptcy, the language of the policy excludes me from any guarantee funds and the attorney I hired quit after sinking a lot of his own money into it.When I tried contacting my legislators and representatives, not one answered me. Not one. So if you are looking for fair treatment from your employer, or help from your elected officials, keep looking. And If you are voting and the names Mark Souder, Evan Bayh, or Dick Luger appear on your ballot, vote for none of the above. You'll thank me later.